To the hustings!

I always love a good election and I was kind of glad that I'd be in Colombo during the lead up to Tuesday's vote. My parents weren't too enthused with my timing because they remembered election violence, assassinations and all sorts of other lovely things when they still lived and were able to vote. On the whole, aside from all the Mahinda love, things were pretty tame in my opinion.

There was that one evening though...

I was on my way home in a 588 cab, making a left turn onto the Galle Road, there was a pick up truck reversing erratically in our direction. The cabbie lent on the horn, but the pick up kept coming at us, the windows were darkly tinted and one slowly rolled down, a man with bloodshot eyes looked at my driver, waved a pistol at him, shook his head and the pick up continued erratically along. The cabbie and I just looked at each other dumbfounded and he told me that because of the elections exchanges like the one we just had were more common place.

Great! Nothing like pissing yourself at 3:20 in the morning to remind you how fantastic it is to live in a country where only 30% of the public gives a shit enough to vote and 'election violence' means a paper cut.

And we're off!

Hungry, hungry hippo

I'm at the Bangkok airport waiting for my flight to Colombo. I've got about 2 hours to go & give or take 100 baht to burn on my 'happy' phonecard. Today started off pretty chill but got all shitastic pretty fast. The plan was to take care of some last minute shopping, deal with the post office, have a late lunch & then bugger off. This was too simple to be executed properly.

I found some super, super cute postcards at the post office & couldn't resist picking some up. So for those of you who gave me your addresses I blame you for delaying me horribly. I had no intentions of spending my morning writing, but 13 postcards later...

And guys you've got to admit my postcard writing skills are pretty badass, I don't skimp & make use of all available space. Honestly I hope you will just lie to me & tell me that you keep all of them lovingly in a box because I'd be crushed if you tossed them. For reals. Plus, you never know, they could be worth something someday!

I normally don't eat breakfast, the picture above is what I subsisted on when we were in ko samed. (Yes, that is the view from the balcony, crazy eh?) Today I had some Thai pastries while I wrote away. Which is a good thing because I kept the leftovers in my bag & just finished inhaling them now. Man I'm starved.

After the postcard writing I grabbed a few last minute things for the ladies in my life, had a lovely lunch & then headed back to the guesthouse with ample time for a shower etc. Of course the minute I step outside it starts to pour and I can't find an empty taxi, the traffic is horrendous & I begin to panic.

My uncle's going to be mortified when he gets me at the airport. I had just enough time to get back to the guesthouse, pay my bill, throw my suitcases in & then head to the airport. I'm still wearing the crap I was in this morning. Linen shorts, a tshirt & flip flops. I am certain to freeze to death on the plane yo, also because of the rain my hair has a certain je ne sais quois about it. Not the good kind.

You know how I always 'misplace' shit at the worst times? I thought I lost the keys to my luggage, then I thought my passport was gone along with my watch and iphone. Then I feel like throwing up. This is what sucks about traveling alone & being so absent minded. There's no one around to tell me to calm the shit down.

Manheaven

If you want to pick up dudes under the cover of being a nerd, this is the best place to do it. Just trust me on this one.

Also, this was on Ko Samed island, wonder why they're referencing the mainland...

And these are a few of my favourite things.

In order for me to have fun times at the beach, these needed to be within grasping distance ALWAYS. My camera, the parents' wee nikon point and shoot, ipod, (obvi the iPhone too) and a book. Specifically War and Peace, which is being re-read for the first time since that first year-undergraduate intro to lit class. Oh! And my fave! My 100 baht sunglasses.

Dear fido: I miss you.

I've got a lovely relationship with my mobile phone company back at home. All about the brand loyalty here people. The carrier I'm with in Bangkok? Not so hot. I was at MBK trying to deal with one of their reps and I'm not sure if their customer service is shit or English was the issue, it did not go well.

Note the time on the screengrab. It is 9:09 PM now and it's still reflecting the same balance. Let's see if I can post more pictures from the earlier points of the trip?

Excuse me...?

I had really high hopes for nice, cheap shoes...not feeling anything I've seen so far

Ok. I have gotten pretty lost in the last couple of hours but this 'Siam Centre' area is so self contained that it's all good. Plus I have no issues asking for directions. For some reason, despite being completely disoriented tourists often stop me and ask for directions. I find this really amusing. Generally I will laugh at them, wipe the tears from my eyes and sheepishly tell them that I myself don't know wtf I'm doing, but that really sweet little security guard over there? His English isn't so hot, but he plays a mean game of charades and is probably a better bet than I am at getting useful information. Then we'll usually chat for a bit, I will angrily explain that I'm actually not from America and the accnt they're hearing is Canadian. We will all look relieve at this revelation, bash America, obese American tourists and carry on our ways.

Next stop I think will be MBK. Alby and I hit it up yesterday but it was pretty late and most of the stores were shutting for the evening. Getting there is going to be so shitty though because it's not connected via 'skywalk.' Which for the record is a genius invention for keeping tourists out of the sweltering sun.

Maybe I'll grab a bite of lunch before things get insane with people. I have been up since 6:30 after all.

(originally pecked out at 12:03 January 7)

For the insomniac tourist

I'm a really light sleeper and usually if I'm woken up in the morning I find it difficult to go back to sleep. Alby left today bright and early at 6 in the AM, I was pretty zonked after an epic Wednesday that saw us back from Ko Samed and stuck in central Bangkok traffic for over 2.5 hours.

Oh and did I mention that I ass planted? On the sidewalk? In front of two bemused security guards? And alby, who just watched and laughed while I squirmed pathetically on the ground? Fortunately nothing happened to my camera or two lenses and the only bruises I sustained were to my pride. No trip is complete without international clumsiness, watch out Colombo! You've been forewarned.

Anyways, along with falling down at the most inopportune moments I'm also used to getting lost, all the time. So I figured since I was up so early to see alby off I'd make the best of my day and head into the city early. I've always thought the best way to get to know a place is to get lost in it and take public transport.

The cute front desk girl at my guesthouse pointed me in the direction of the Skytrain station with a little note incase I got lost. It had the English name of the station "Saphan kwai Skytrain Station," the Thai name and the phonetic pronunciation "Road fai fa sa phan kwai." Fortunately I made it there with no fuss, 35 baht and 20 minutes later I was hustling out of the Siam Centre station with hordes of bleary eyed office workers. Not a single tourist in sight.

It was 8:15 and the city was still a bit asleep, since it wasn't too hot I figured I'd walk around and take some pictures. Just outside of the station people were lining up for morning street eats. Things I thought were "traditional" lunch/dinner meals were going fast. I know I had local colleagues in Colombo who'd eat a rice packet and curry for breakfast. Maybe this is the same deal? Anyways while I was taking pictures a Thai lady sauntered up casually and started talking to me. She worked for the tourist bureau and asked me how I'd been enjoying my stay. She supposedly used to work for the Canadian Consulate in Bangkok and got really excited when she found out I was from Toronto. She pointed me in the direction of a free map and told
me to plan my day wisely.

And that's what I'm doing. Sitting at Starbucks with my Lonely Planet Bangkok guide and map figuring out the best places to go shopping.

Also, there are two Thai girls being hit on by an American from LA. But I believe that's a post for another time kids. It's a whole other situation. Ugh.

(originally pecked out at 10 am January 7th)

'No! Bangkok's Eastern Bus Terminal!'

We've sort of been relying on Lonely Planet's Thai guide for our directions around town. Alby and I had no idea what we'd be in for yesterday trying to get from Bangkok to Ko Samed but figured who gave a shit really, it'd be an adventure. So on Sunday morning we ambled over to the guesthouse office to find "Glory," the sweet front desk
lady and get directions. Or at the very least some names written down in Thai. No luck with that though because she was nowhere to be found and we figured we'd be able to manage on our own.

Um. Yeah.

Armed with a map we headed up to the top of the road with our backpacks. The two teenagers at the 7/11 (guys, that shit is on every corner here! It amazes me) seemed to know a bit of English so after a bit of pantomiming we managed to get them to write "Bangkok's Eastern Bus Terminal" in Thai.

The cabbie we found was pretty eager not to take us where we wanted, but straight to Rayong, which was the town we needed to get to. Alby and I both screamed "NO!" in the same tone of voice i use on Oliver and looked at him with what I assume is the steely faced determination Alby uses on her behaviourally challenged students. Eager to make peace with us he pulled out a photograph of himself riding a tiger. I'm wondering if I need to Photoshop myself into a picture like that too, if it's the universal sign of goodwill out here or something? I will take one for the team.

With the help of an American hippie we scored two tickets for what was promised to be a "luxury bus ride" to the sleepy seaside town of Rayong. Bus bay 106 at 10:00AM. (I know, that's a photo of bay 105, but my view was obstructed!) The people in Thailand have been so sweet to us so far. Neither of us have been harassed at all (unlike in Colombo) and when we got on the bus an elderly man asked to see our tickets to make sure we were on the correct bus. Even the ticketing agent double checked to make sure we hadn't effed up.

So off we went to Rayong feeling pretty confident that we'd be okay.

Oops.

I didn't realise until yesterday, when I actually took a look at my blog page, that everything looked so effed up. First off, genius that I am was sending "my email to blogger" thing to the wrong address. Kids, even though the domain maybe .blogspot the email address is .blogger. Who knew? Secondly, is anyone actually even surprised?
Anyways just to put things in some kind of coherent order:
1. I left Toronto on the 31st night
2. Landed in Frankfurt in the ealry hours of the 1st.
3. Landed in Colombo early on the 2nd.
4. Got into Bangkok early afternoon on the 2nd.
5. Left Bangkok for Ko Samed the morning of the 3rd and got here in
the afternoon.
6. Today is the 4th and I've got my ass firmly placed in a beach chair with a pool behind me, a clear blue sea in front of me, alby reading trashy tabloid magazines to the left (while my novel languishes), two leathery looking italians tanning on my right and a buffet of banana hammocks coming at me from all angles.

I think today is going to be a good day.

Cankles

Alby was sitting out on the balcony reading a book when Vichan and our hot pink cab pulled up to the guesthouse. She let out a high pitched scream (trademark alby), bolted down the stairs and was standing outside my door even before I had the chance to get out. Neither of us can believe that we're actually finally doing this trip. It's incredulous really. Even as I painstakingly peck this out on my iphone I have a hard time wrapping my head around it.

We pretty much concluded that although I was ready to curl up into a ball and fall asleep on the ceramic tiles it's probably be best for us to go out and explore instead of sitting around being tempted to sleep. I had a quick shower and off we went stupidly leaving our guidebook and maps behind.

I'm struck at how much Bangkok is like Colombo, but not. I was expecting it to be far more squalid. Maybe it's because it's the weekend but the streets seemed relatively litter free and in good condition. Vichan told me that the traffic is non-existant on the weekends so I'll have to wait and see if Thai tuk-tuk drivers are as bad as your garden variety Colombo type. The expressway from the airport into the city was impressive too. Parts of it had a very highway 401 vibe going on. But with tropical weather and palm trees. Speaking of weather, it's been perfect so far. The stifling heat and humidity that I come to expect from Colombo doesn't seem to be making an appearance here.

Alby and I set off at about 2 something, ordinarily that would be suicide in Sri Lanka. The only acceptable activity at that time over there is sleeping. First stop was the 7-11 for some supplies. It's amazing how they're EVERYWHERE. Obviously they don't sell any of the things we get back at home, but it's just jarring to me seeing them out here. Stupid multi-national corporations. I got a sim card for 49 baht that I will need to replace. The "Dtac" provider is craptastic, their network is still edge! And it's bloody expensive too. Today before we head out to ko samet I'm going on a 3g hunt.

From there we went to one of those weekend only markets. The disorganization, stench and shameless people made me feel like I was in Colombo. Poor, polite alby, she was in charge of the afternoon's expedition because I was so jetlagged and disoriented, but pushing through the crowds? I had to lead the way. I weave like a pro yo! Our haul was decent. Got these fantastic v-neck tshirts for 50 Baht and and a pair of sunglasses each. My haggling skills are a bit rusty but I did bust them out and they were useful.

I don't normally haggle when the price is fair, but if you're trying to rip me off on purpose? Hellz to the no! I'm holding off blowing too much cash on random market shit, but it was a fun afternoon and a good way to keep the jetlag at bay. We didn't get back until 8 and I was fighting trying to stay awake. So while alby sorted through her Christmas presents (photo above) I had a shower. That's when I noticed my ankles had swollen so much they were cankles. They still look a bit swollen.

It's 3:59 AM. I'm going to attempt to take a nap.

Wherein a figment of my imagination becomes a pleasant but fleeting reality.

O. Hai! This is Vichan. He drove me from the airport to my
guesthouse. Did I mention that I'm in Bangkok?!

Ugh. It's 2:14 AM and I'm so jetlagged. I've never been one of those people who's been debilitated by lack of sleep so when I forced myself to stay awake until the wild time of 9:15 PM I honest to goodness thought I'd get a few more hours than 5.

Anywho, before I get to Thailand I think it's only fair to talk about getting here from Frankfurt. I had such high expectations of the German airport, it's only natural that I was utterly disappointed. There are too many crap things to outline, but I will say one good thing, being called "Bitte" is kind of awesome.

One thing Frankfurt had to offer (which I don't think I'll forget for some years to come) was a fabulous seat companion on the Sri Lankan Airlines flight to Colombo. By the time I got my boarding pass in Frankfurt it was 20 minutes prior to take off and I was convinced I'd have to sit in a middle seat of a middle row squeezed between screeching old Amammas enroute to Chennai. (Which the flight was FULL off and screaming kids). I was taken aback when I rushed in and saw that I had a window seat in the bulkhead. My short stubby legs rejoiced! And then I rejoiced some more when I took a look at who I'd be stuck with for the next 10ish hours.

We didn't even bother exchanging names but let's call him Bill for now. I hate to travel alone, think it's because I find it very difficult to wile away the time on these long distance flights. Sleep eludes me, I get motion sickness if try to read a novel and I can never find anything enticing on the inflight movie roster to watch. Even though I'm a total cantankerous hermit (who's getting worse with age) there are times when I can turn the switch on and become a very friendly, pleasant person.

Being forced to travel alone does this to me. Before I sat down I remarked to Bill that I thought I'd get stuck sitting "over there" and pointed to some fat red faced German men who were so large they were oozing into the laps of the people beside them. To which he cheekily said in an accent I couldn't quite place "Oh I feel very sorry for those seatbelts. The stories those poor bastards would be able to tell."

With that it was on.

I miss meeting people like Bill. He reminded me again why I'm such a picky bastard when it comes to men. He was an absolutely fascinating Northern Irishmen who spent his childhood bouncing around from country to country because of his dad's work. (They even lived in Toronto for a bit!) I love that world weariness that frequent travelers have. So this is what I found out. Bill did his PhD in viral studies, specifically mosquito borne viruses so he's done a lot of work for the UN in the great lakes region in Africa. My former NGO self was squealing in delight and then had to repress the maniacal grin when he said he'd done stints with MSF in west Africa. Turns out Bill's fluent in German and French. So why was he enroute to Colombo? He's doing a specialists program with Duke university in the spread of dengue and was headed to Singapore for research.

So while flipping through our pretentios reading materials (I had the New Yorker and Harpers, he had the Economist and Wallpaper (more points awarded here for stylishness!)) we managed to make the 10 hours fly by and hung out in the Colombo airport for another ridonculous expanse of time waiting for our connections. We both grumbled that it's such a waste meeting cool people in airports fully well knowing that the likelihood of ever crossing paths again is 0, unless you live in the same city. Then we buggered off to our gates.

So. What have we learned from all of this?

1. I should be sleeping

2. My taste in men has not changed one bit in the last 5 years.

3. All the good men are placed outside of my geographical grasp making them unattainable (see point 2)

4. I don't purposely mean to be a snob (or do I?) but is it just me or do you notice the more interesting folks tend to also generally have some kind of advanced university degree? Maybe I'm just very nerdy.

5. OMG! I'm in Thailand.

Off We Go

Doesn't the window look like there's a tiny man rocking a little tiny frosted fro?

I'm about 1 hour out of Frankfurt tapping away on my iphone (which is on airport mode thank you). 2010 was welcomed in on a plane and I didn't kiss my seat companion, although she was a super cute Parisian and totally my type.

My cousin came by the house in the afternoon to say goodbye and during the course of a conversation I started whining about how this trip was a long time coming since I'm so used to heading out some place or another at least once a year. He looked at me and rolled his eyes. It's not my fault that his passport has expired and he hasn't bothered to renew it.

When I left for England I was determined to fill my current passport with more stamps to more countries than any of the previous ones. It expires in 2012 and so far hasn't done so badly. But the excitement of travel really gets zapped in certain areas when you do it frequently and there's a certain cynicism that follows.

Just before I was clearing security Ammi asked me if I was wearing a belt. Even seasoned travelers often forget that they have to remove their shit for security. I subconsciously didn't wear a belt today. I also didn't wear shoes that required lacing up, a jacket with cumbersome buttons or mismatched socks (you wouldn't believe how big of a feat that last one is for me)

But I do remember a time when air travel was far simpler and I could take a goddamn bottle of water on the plane.

There are a few firsts on this trip though, enough to have me a bit piqued at least. It was pretty wet this evening and we were a bit delayed because the plane needed to be de-iced and that's something I've never seen before. I always thought they literally go and scrape ice off the plane like we do with our windscreens in the winter. Apparently this is not the case. There's actually these two giant crane like things on either side of the wing spraying liquid and the following up with some oily/slick looking stuff.

Yeah, I know it got old very fast but still.

I've never been to the Frankfurt airport or to Germany actually. I wish I had more vacation time because I may have taken a couple of days inbetween to explore the country a bit before heading to the tropics. The airport will have to do, but word on the street is that there's bugger all to do there.

Oh, yes. I think I may be growing up a bit. I was all packed up the night before and my room isn't a complete and utter disaster. Both of these are monumental firsts.

I'm trying to think of what else but I'm blanking. Oh. I got my phone unlocked so hopefully we can has 3g connectivity whilst gallivanting.

Tagged.

So Vindicated hit me with a tag for that whole "letter to your 16 year old self thing" and I believe it's been years since I was last compelled to take part in one of these memes. How dare you! Thinking back to 16 makes me so depressed because I can barely remember that far back. I've decided to be sporting (despite not knowing the rules) so here goes.

You know that feeling that you get? When you look back at your 13 year old-self? And want to slap her silly? That does not fade. You will constantly want to go back in time and roundhouse kick some sense into your past self. Something tells me that we will always feel like this no matter.

Where should I start?

16 is a monumental year for you. First off, that brain aneurysm that Ammi will supposedly die of? No fear, that wasn't an aneurysm and she's actually still alive. You will however carry the emotional trauma of that and the fall out from her illness around for a long time. Actually both you and Aiya do, and in typical fashion deal with it in completely opposite ways. You both survive. Next year will sort of suck though, not going to lie. You decide that you're going to completely rebel against everything and become a serious pain in the ass. Like for real. You break your parents' heart by turning against religion, God and the institutionalised church, but they both survive. Despite the turmoil so do you. Your relationship with them drastically changes, but that's to be expected.

You feel stifled. Believe me. This feeling NEVER GOES AWAY. You will always feel suffocated you also believe that life will change once you get out of your tiny shit school and meet some new people. Fact: Life still sucks and all those friends you labeled as being "circumstantial," (just your friends because there are no other options) actually turn out to be the best friends you will ever have in life. You stay close to them through your undergraduate degrees, med school, law school, teachers college. You name it. You will be a bridesmaid and hate every moment of it, but you suck it up and do it. Then they start having babies, (which yes, even now freaks you out) and you have no idea what to do with these small creatures, but as they start getting older and you see flashes of their parents in their faces you realise that your past nomadic life may well be in the past because you're actually around to see this shit happen.

Yeah, you know that whole traveling thing? It dogs you man, all your life and you totally embrace it. You travel, a lot (your goal of living and working in two countries on every continent is right on track). And you experience all sorts of fantastic things. That drive to live in another country out of a suitcase sort of wanes eventually, but never dies! You start to realise how much you're missing at home. With that said, the time you spent working at an NGO in Sri Lanka? Good on you. Sometimes you'll wonder wtf you're doing, but stick with it. If anything it gives you a chance to know your family and grandparents in Colombo on a level that would never have been possible before. Looking back you'll be happy about this because your grandfather does not live forever, you won't be full of regrets like aiya.

Speaking of Sri Lanka, you are blown away by the awesome people you meet while you're there (none of whom you work with or are related to hah). One of them will even move to Canada and ingrain himself in your life, the same way those friends from high school do. He becomes a common fixture at the Christmas dinner table, the guest bedroom and even gets exposed to Aiya's girlfriends too.

You become easier on the people around you and become much more accepting. This is a good thing because your social sphere also expands and your friends become an eclectic mix of strangeness. You will never attempt to gather them all in one place for this reason.

The best example of this is the monumental nerd that flies into your peripheral this year. You will ignore him. For years. And years. He will tutor your baby cousin in calculus and you won't know he exists until one Thanksgiving you're forced to roast 38 turkeys and have no other option than to speak to him. Go with it. He will irritate you, you will want to kill him, but give him a chance because he turns out to be nothing at all like you expected. He reads Wuthering Heights voluntarily and becomes slightly less nerdy because of your influence. In turn he becomes a place of calm and reasoning in the midst of much insanity for you. It also helps that he's deliciously good looking and most of the single females in your acquaintance are madly jealous.

The most important thing that you'll discover later in life is how to weed people out. This is pertinent to your well being. All those people who are on a crusade to save you from yourself? Good news! They'll mostly be gone by the time you hit your 3rd year of university. You stop feeling the need to explain yourself to people and being misunderstood isn't so bad because you stop caring. Life keeps going on and it's not that bad.

Unfortunately you're a bit hit and miss in the boy department. Most of your relationships fizzle out and die a pathetic death because you refuse to be changed. A douche will famously quote to you the third stanza from "Marching Bands of Manhattan" in an attempt to make you feel badly about yourself, but instead you will feel emboldened and kick him to the curb. This is a trend that continues with you. It is also awesome.

You are also still terribly verbose. We will stop now.

Annnnnnnnnd I tag Tiny Little Fascist and Curious Yellow.

Oh dear.

It's been one of those weeks kids. One of those weeks.

When I get stressed out I tend to have really insane dreams. Well, I shouldn't say really insane, but you know. Which I guess goes without saying because most dreams always do have a strong element of wtf. It is however that time of year in the summer semester where there are assignments galore and midterms. That means catching up on a condensed half a year worth of reading I haven't done. To make matters slightly more harrowing I need to point out that I'm a proud student at two different universities. So on Mondays and Wednesdays I'm at U of T and Tuesdays and Thursdays at Ryerson. Oh, did I mention that in the sea of books, papers and shoe receipts that is my room I have misplaced my faithful mouthguard. That ingenious creation that stops me from grinding my teeth and saves me from insomnia. My grinding increases with stress and the insomnia from the teeth grinding brings on the effed up dreams.

Last night I wanted to go to bed early, the weekend was hectic. I've been immersed in Victorian lit (and maybe this is the reason for the dreams? All the repression?!) and wanted to take a minute to send Alby a goodbye note before she headed to Memphis. With all this swirling around in my head I went to bed at an indecent hour and had this dream.

We were headed to London, but as usual running late, got separated and boarded the plane individually. When we were in highschool and went on trips, we were Those Kids. You know, the ones that unspoken-ly got the back of the bus even if they're the very last ones to get on? This plane was no exception. Lo and behold Alby, Labro, Copto, Whoren and even Hoolia were all at the back of the plane. Apparently Labro and I were headed to South Africa after London. (Which seriously, wtf. She's the least likely out of everyone to want to do that. Also, no husband either.)

As we buckled ourselves in for take-off, a flight attendant came by, confiscated my iphone, passport and copy of George Eliot's Middlemarch. (I'm actually frantically trying to finish reading that for my mid-term on Wednesday.) This starts a series of scandalised whispers between the girls because as in real life, I look like ass in my passport picture and the flight attendant was all kinds of good looking.

We make it to London and go our separate ways. Emily leaves me for South Africa and I'm left stranded at the Heathrow (an airport I HATE) because the aforementioned confiscated documents. I head over to a kiosk and try to passively aggresively throw a civilised shit fit. Finally the same flight attendant comes by, gives my shiz back and I get upgraded to business class. (You'd think I'd have fought for 1st class eh? Even in dreams I aim low.) In a Bollywood twist of fate he turns out to be my seat neighbour and he's reading Bleak House. He turns to me and asks if I understand anything about the intricacies of the Victorian-era British legal system. I attempt to explain (sadly it is almost a word-for-word repetition on some short hand notes I made on the topic for my mid-term. I had been going over them earlier on in the evening). We then turn our attention over to George Eliot, banter on about Daniel Deronda, Eliot's supposed Christian fundie phase and her general scandalousness.

Natch at this point, I'm all "OMG. THIS FLIGHT ATTENDANT IS LYK TEH BEST EVAH!!1!one1" Then it happens. He transforms into Optimus Prime and ruins everything.

So what did we learn from all of this?
1. I am a giant nerd even in my dreams and Victorian lit is still totally hot.
2. My subconscious is telling me that I should re-look at going to South Africa.
3. Seeing the new Transformers movie really is a must.
4. I'm sort of effed for my mid-term on Wednesday.

Screenshot from my twitter account.

I was driving home last Sunday around 4:30ish from Debbie's place in some pretty heavy stop and go traffic. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon, I was on the cusp of a rice coma and to prevent myself from falling asleep at the wheel I turned on the radio. Fortunately for me I was able to catch the tail end of the Strombo Show and he was previewing some tracks off of the new Decemberists' album, The Hazards of Love.

As I listened to "The Rake's Song" and mentally went over the day (I was dragged to a Bridal show), a Cheshire Cat type grin spread across my face. Of course I fully empathised with the narrator (despite not being 21 anymore *sob*). Ever since the general unwashed masses found out about Debbie's impending nuptials, Abi and I have started getting some crazy heat from all and sundry about "settling down." As I've mentioned in the past there's nothing unusual with that, but lately we're finding the renewed interest a bit harder to laugh off. Mostly because it's coming from people who should genuinely know better. Abi's a sweet, good natured person and you can generally guess how I, ever the commitmentphobe, have been dealing.

Alby was in town over the weekend for a few wedding related festivities and we got to talking about how last year this time I was in London. Being in a bit of a nostalgic mood here are a few journal entries from that time that've been in the vault.

March 4, 2008

It's amazing what can happen in a month.

Just over a month ago I was super stoked for my big move to London and my trip to Barcelona. Instead all the plans that I had and the way I had envisaged myself settling into this next phase of my life essentially got side swiped like a car at a T-junction.

Did a run to IKEA the other night with Thorn, probably didn't need to but I wanted things to feel a bit normal. Picked up some stuff to make my "room" a bit more habitable. I use quotes because I swear this place is smaller than my walk-in closet in Toronto. I felt lost last week, it's been years since I've felt that way.

Alby was totally aghast. God only knows what Labro would've done to me. Probably punched me in the face and told me to man up and find some balls. Just like how it's amazing what can happen in a month, I'm struck by how much has happened in a week. Tez witnessed The Panic which lasted give or take 2 days. But still, I don't panic to that degree ever. Things are starting to look up.

April 22, 2008

I have now worked at a grand total of 2 boutique ad agencies since coming to London. My lovely headhunter warned me ahead of time to brace myself for what would be an immense culture shock. Corporate whoring aside, working in London is a different beast altogether.

I have moaned and groaned about not being taken seriously because of my fluid identity time and time again. The weekend found thorn and I at a dingy club, unsurprisingly I was the only coloured person in the joint. Usually there's at least a token black person. Not this time. Some shitfaced cockney and one of his mates came up to us and in a vain attempt to pick me up asked me if I was black.

Yeah. Needless to say he didn't get very far.

And because the walk down memory lane didn't end there, here are some tweets (I feel like that's the only way to legitimise the above screenshot). Plus the vast majority of you wouldn't have even read this while they were happening since they're restricted. I hardly did any blogging while I was in the UK so here goes:

I have rediscovered twitter. less emo more happy!
6:40 PM Mar 25th, 2008 from web

I'm gainfully employed bitchz!
10:34 AM Mar 31st, 2008 from web

@drac I want to be intoxicated in some form or manner too! Just cashed my last lot of traveler's cheques. unpleasant.
12:45 PM Apr 1st, 2008 from web

@tezcat i'm wracking my brains trying to figure out the name of the green book on sustainable development is. Damn you Goodreads. Damn you.
5:12 PM Apr 1st, 2008 from web

I have eaten the best sammich ever. Who knew crumpets could be that good?
5:26 PM Apr 2nd, 2008 from web

Why is the washing machine making that noise? It's either going to flood the flat or burn it down. I will not be held responsible for either.
9:29 AM Apr 3rd, 2008 from web

Flatmate went drinking @ the tate+house party in the lower flat+really hot italians=a ditched Pula and fun times.
12:32 AM Apr 5th, 2008 from web

When asking about my Sat night plans the flatmate accused me of being the 'thinking man's nympho.' wtf indeed peeps. wtf indeed.
8:40 AM Apr 5th, 2008 from web

Correction: apparently it was actually the "cerebral man's nympho," because that makes it better.
9:08 AM Apr 5th, 2008 from web

I have a new British ghey bestfriend. weeee!
9:07 AM Apr 6th, 2008 from web

'Ah so that's what your initials stands for. I'm not going to be insulting & try to pronounce it'
5:56 PM Apr 6th, 2008 from txt

My new job sucks but is $ coming in. If 1 more person says I have a 'beautiful name' I may go Waco.
5:52 AM Apr 7th, 2008 from txt

flatmates are screaming "GOAL." Apparently there's a football game. I'm displeased. Trying to catch up on missed episodes of Project Runway
2:00 PM Apr 8th, 2008 from web

@TinyLF "PENALTY, PENALTY" is being screamed at horrendous volumes.
3:28 PM Apr 8th, 2008 from web in reply to TinyLF

the (football) hoodlums have no made it to the street.
4:08 PM Apr 8th, 2008 from web

I'm headed 2 a funeral in Brixton & the Black Crows are playing the Sound Academy. Bleh.
6:53 PM Apr 9th, 2008 from txt

Checking out guys at a funeral is so tasteless. Please feel free to disagree. Anyone?
8:12 PM Apr 9th, 2008 from txt

I have been informed that i need to know about quantitative research methods for tomorrow. wtf! I'm an arts student, we don't know this shit.
5:27 PM Apr 9th, 2008 from web

Job interview #459285. "Bring your passport" they say. Am I going to be sold into slavery? Who knows.
9:48 AM Apr 10th, 2008 from web

Another interview, another job offer, another "wtf a 1 year work visa?" another monumental PHAIL.
3:58 PM Apr 10th, 2008 from web

Applying for jobs in Toronto while I'm in London. Decidedly teh weirdness. How the mighty have fallen etc.
9:43 AM Apr 10th, 2008 from web

Gah. it has been a truly bipolar day. Interview at DDB London for an actual short term contract position.
12:18 PM Apr 10th, 2008 from web

The mater arrives at Heathrow in T -1hr15mins. Must get supplies.
12:53 PM Apr 11th, 2008 from web

Mater & the aunt are totally MIA. Only my family'll do this kind of shiz.
3:34 PM Apr 11th, 2008 from txt

Doesn't matter how old you are, having your mom around when things go to shit is awesome.
6:20 PM Apr 11th, 2008 from txt

Is there a soccer game tonite? Lots of hot boys in blue Chelsea jerseys
6:47 PM Apr 14th, 2008 from txt

Half a glass of wine shouldn't make anyone this giggly. Gawd. I need new friends
9:06 PM Apr 14th, 2008 from txt

Crazy bag lady screamed out 'go home paki' as I walked by. At least toronto homeless aren't racists. They are bitter though.
4:56 PM Apr 14th, 2008 from txt

'Just print out your timesheet on the printer called "sausage."' How can I possibly keep a straight face?
11:31 AM Apr 15th, 2008 from web

ZOMG! Hottest guy in London sitting next to me on the tube & I look like total ass. Why God? Why?! /shakes fist.
2:41 PM Apr 16th, 2008 from txt

Frenchman, French novels and conversations in French. Bliss?
8:33 PM Apr 17th, 2008 from txt

The hordes of teenage girls at the Primark on Oxford St must die. Or maybe i'll just cut them all instead? Teh rage. I have it.
3:38 PM Apr 18th, 2008 from txt

Do I srsly need another pair of kickass over priced sneakers? Should I be buying 'grown up shoes?' Heels? Psylog?
4:39 PM Apr 18th, 2008 from txt

Non-English speaking flatmate ftw! 'how do you say a transformers?' 'dude you mean transexual?'
11:42 PM Apr 19th, 2008 from txt

What a flipping sausage fest. Cutest boy in da house 'i really like your trainers.' I made the right choice!
12:18 AM Apr 20th, 2008 from txt

Comparing me to a Postal Service song & then telling me you like beer? I'm in love!
12:32 AM Apr 19th, 2008 from txt

When did doing lines in the livingroom at 6pm on a Sunday become acceptable? I'm getting old.
^:18 PM Apr 20th, 2008 from txt

'Mind if I pop my stuff at the end of your thing while I go for a wee?' Damn you British people, don't you realise? Innuendo is everywhere!
11:04 AM Apr 22nd, 2008 from web

Perhaps I'm just actually a 12 year old boy?
11:04 AM Apr 22nd, 2008 from web

I'm always lost. Yet tourists come to me as if I know wtf I'm doing and where places are.
12:21 PM Apr 22nd, 2008 from txt

Why is it that in any part of the world Sri Lankan Airlines is always out to eff you over?
11:00 AM Apr 23rd, 2008 from web

Tube? I will not miss you. No. Srsly I won't. There's no hope for reconciliation.
3:25 PM Apr 23rd, 2008 from txt

Damn you lolcats. I no longer know how to spell MOAR.
9:18 AM Apr 24th, 2008 from txt

Wtf do Italian fiends always have to travel in packs of 20?! If I hear Napoli 1 MOAR time...
2:07 PM Apr 24th, 2008 from txt

I hate taking all my gear to concerts. If you had any sense you'd know that my mac is low end, the camera is shit and not professional.
2:42 PM Apr 24th, 2008 from txt

The camera lenses are crap too. This is why I don't have a press pass you idiots.
2:44 PM Apr 24th, 2008 from txt

Contact highs ftl! I have the munchies. Loud Americans! Always ruining good music for everyone.
3:45 PM Apr 24th, 2008 from txt

Is it totally pathetic that I keep thinking I see my toronto peeps everywhere because I'm so excited about going home? A bit?
10:40 AM Apr 25th, 2008 from txt

ZOMG! Two geese are getting it on at St James park. I may throw up my sammich.
1:50 PM Apr 25th, 2008 from txt

Murukku & spanish rioja ftw. That's the way to keep it classy.
11:45 PM Apr 25th, 2008 from txt

Srsly you have to stop talking. No one cares. I don't want to hear about how you 'nearly scored' last nite. I was THERE & no you didn't.
11:53 PM Apr 25th, 2008 from txt

No he doesn't love you & you've never done coke you've just met your 2 glass of quota of wine. Stop with the paint by numbers psychology.
12:47 AM Apr 26th, 2008 from txt

Chelsea fans everywhere. They've overridden the tube. As if this journey wasn't going to normally be painful enough.
2:11 PM Apr 26th, 2008 from txt

There are cops all up in my hood because of the football rowdies. Hot men in uniform ftw!
2:26 PM Apr 26th, 2008 from txt

So apparently that big structure that I can see from my window is the Chelsea grounds. All of a sudden things make sense.
2:58 PM Apr 26th, 2008 from txt

Goodbye London. You were an utter bitch but I'll still miss you.
11:13 AM Apr 26th, 2008 from txt

Toronto. It is good to be in your familiar embrace once again but why does it still feel like winter?! And you feel a bit distant.
9:19 AM Apr 27th, 2008 from txt

/fin

They flashed a photograph, it couldn't be you.

I was taking one of my last Canadian policy pre-req courses and was meandering over to the Toronto Reference Library from the subway station. Somehow thorn and I had managed to get our paws on an early release of Picaresque and I was lost in the music. It was 2005 and my God, looking at that date I can't believe that it's been four years. That album is still very much in heavy rotation on my ipod.

I still want to get a running start, grab a 2x4 and go apeshit on that pretentious, shit head of a kid who was just about 3 months into one of the most defining years of her life. You see, lately I have been looking back at not just this last year but life in general. The things I imagined myself doing four years ahead of time in March 2005 couldn't be any different than what I'm doing now.

Not only do I work in the financial sector, I actually sort of like it. This is something that would have horrified me four years ago. If I had gotten any inclination of this back then, I'm sure I would've killed myself. The problem that I'm having is trying to explain this to my friends. Lovely, wonderful people who mean so much to me but just don't get it. The snapshot of me now is utterly unrecognisable to the person they used to know. I haven't really been around all that much. Come to think of it, except for 2004 the last 12 years hasn't seen me rooted in Toronto for 12 months at a stretch. I feel that's partially the reason why my inner circle of peeps recall a person who is wildly different from who I've become.

The choice to stick it out in Toronto was a tough one to make last July but I thought it was for the best. The initial reaction from most people was, "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?" It felt good to turn down that London job offer (not enough money! Screw you brit a-holes). It also felt good to finally feel part of things. Last year when I was trying to figure out whether or not to go to London or South Africa, I casually mentioned to one of Ammi's business colleagues that, "it would be really nice to have a permanent address where I could get a 12 month magazine subscription sent to."

You know what? It really is nice. Labro is getting married in May and I'm here. Forget the whole wedding hoopla, it's such a novel-high-school feeling for me to actually be watching everything unfold instead of getting email updates and half arsed information rallying via instant message. There's a context to life that's been absent for a long while and it's simply geographical. I never got a chance to properly get to know her fiance because I was never here! It's clear that over the last few years I haven't been holding a monopoly on excitement. My friends have accomplished and experienced incredible things too.

Labro and I were sitting in her livingroom last summer, I had just finished detailing to her about the time one of my London flatmates nearly OD'd on coke in our flat on a Sunday afternoon. She looked at me and with all sincerity said, "life must be so boring for you now that you're back in Toronto."

Being back permanently hasn't been all that bad. In December I got called in for an interview with a firm that I had been dying to work with in a position that was perfect for me. It no longer fit in with who I was evolving into though. That feeling of walking into a room and knowing you're owning it is fantastic. I charmed the interviewers and got offered the job. It felt even greater to say no and I had a surge of validation. (I know. I clearly have issues.)

Things have changed though yo, I've now actually got the time and the drive to do things that I enjoy. I am up-to-date on everyone's life! My camera isn't as neglected as it was before and I've got a guilt-free-disposable income. With all of those warm, fuzzy feelings aside, one thing I will concede: you guys are right, I am wasting my life being a drone. But cut my some slack? It takes a bit of time to bounce back from wanting to save the world and working the non-profit circle. Don't think of the current state of my life as "settling," it's not. I'm just trying to figure things out. It is nice to feel so loved and you will be happy to hear that I will be going back to school.

I am looking forward to May.

I am nothing if I am not chaotic.

I always manage to misplace the most important things 20 seconds before I need them. Leaving for Virginia and I can't find my passport. Predictably it shows up 1.5 hours before the allocated departure time under my bed wrapped in the sleeve of a tshirt.

If this was plurk I'd be raising my red fist of anger and shaking it furiously.

Shutter Speed

Jebus. I'm too lazy to blog properly (surprise). I present you the last lightening speed month and three quarters through the eyes of that snazzy new camera phone which I acquired along with a haircut at Pacific Mall.


This is what Toronto looked like when I left. I had a week and a bit of do nothingness before I took off unexpectedly to Colombo for the funeral. The original plan had been three weeks of do nothingness interspersed with leisurely getting my shit together for the Big Trip to London. I used to take Oliver for a walk every day during that spell and this is what a typical day would start off looking like. Apparently Toronto's still sort of like this? Perhaps my parents are just big exaggeraters?


Thathi and I were walking through the Katunayake Airport on our way to pick up our luggage remarking how it sort of feels nice to be back in Sri Lanka despite the utterly unfortunate circumstances. Seriously, look at that snow covered horror above. Now look at those luscious bouganvilla flowers in my grandparents' garden. It was nice to get away from one of the worst winters on record. When Ammi and Punchy made it into Colombo the heat had already started, I managed to miss that completely. However there was a few insane downpours, nothing compared to last year when that bit of the Galle Road collapsed. But still. I do recall a very unpleasant trishaw ride with Mansage from the Cinnamon Grand to Agra which involved rolled up pant legs, leaping over puddles and rubber slippers (which were worn in mutiny).


While I'm not a huge cat person this is my homeboy. Kitty, for that is his most unfortunate name, and I used to have a mutual understanding. He was less than a year old when I came to Sri Lanka last year. In exchange for play fighting in the mornings before leaving for work he would let me cuddle him for a brief spell in the evenings when I'd actually make it home at a decent hour. Although he used to make an utter fuss, I know he liked it. His throat used to vibrate, with a normal cat this would be purring, but his autism prevents him from showing affection, and that's as close as he'd get. No noise at all. The morning that my grandfather passed away he bolted and hung out on top of the water tower for nearly 5 days. He still refuses to go into my grandparents' bedroom. I don't know what he did after I left but the little beastie used to curl up in a ball and either sleep with me on my bed or on the floor beside me.


The final purchase that I made before I left Colombo was an umbrella from Arpico (pictured above). You know one of those silver coated jobbies. I figured that going to London without one would be just plain retarded. Gayan and I sped over as fast as we could to Dehiwela the night before I left. I needed to be at the Commons for a birthday fête and final goodbye. It was sad, and rushed. Tears were shed sly words exchanged and then it was time to go. The night before Mansage and I had a very fitting and hilarious goodbye that began at the Coffee Bean meandered to Clancys and then a mad rush back to the Bean. He even kept the blubbing to a minimum. It was so not enough time to see everyone I wanted to and there were so many people that I didn't even get a chance to see let alone call. I've always believed that any trip to Sri Lanka has to be at least 4 weeks long otherwise it's an utter disappointing and rushed experience.


I am hardly ever late for anything. Usually I am ridiculously early. This is a trait that Alby and I have both exhibited since time immemorial. So when I landed in London from Colombo and came back to Thorn's place at about 11:00 PM we weren't really worried about me being able to make my 6:30 AM flight that next morning. Oh how wrong we were. I was flying Easy Jet from Stantsted and in a series of events befitting Murphy I managed to get to the gate just as it was closing despite having started my journey at 3:00 AM. It was one of the most stressful things evar. Spain was great though, Barcelona's such a gorgeous city. I've got way more pictures which will eventually be posted on flickr. Seeing Gaudi's work in the flesh was phenomenal. I found myself at Sagrada Família on Easter Sunday and it was so overwhelming. The religious significance aside, as a piece of art it just left me dumbfounded.

Generally I don't like buying lame souvenirs and what inadvertently started off as an innocent scarf purchase in Dakar has now become my "thing." I buy scarves from every place I visit, managed to get the two above for 2 Euros. Which I thought was pretty awesome and of course now I'm regretting not getting more.


Getting lost in a city is the best way to discover it. This is what I say because I legendarily lack a sense of direction. On this particular day I was waiting for the ex-workmate to finish off some shiz and meet up with me for a day of shopping. So I wondered around Leicester Square and found a section that sold antique books. It was like I had died and gone to bookheaven. If the exchange rate wasn't 2 CND to a Pound I could've easily walked away with the entire store.


Went and met Aunty C at St Pancras a few weeks ago. She came and spent the day with me from Leeds and couldn't have picked a better weekend. The photo does not do justice to how kickass that clock really was. The two of us had a great time just wondering around the city. I managed to get us spectacularly lost at one point when I took the map.



A carved rock outside the British Library. They had a whole bunch of them around the entrance.


I still can't get over how "British" everything looks.


Seriously, how cute is that? Mind you it would've been way better if my unsteady hands didn't go all parkinsons on me. There actually are red phone booths in and around certain parts of the city.


Okay, so it does rain here on and off but it doesn't bother me! Is there something wrong? Am I unknowingly prepping for life in Vancouver?


Camden has become one of my favourite parts of London. I spend too much time and too much money there.


I go to church in Brixton. How bad ass am I? Witnessed my first building fire. Must say I really was not impressed with the way the firefighters and cops handled things. But that's another post altogether.


Gigs! With Thorn! It feels like home. But not really. Live music always makes me feel like I'm at home, no matter what part of the world I'm in. The London indie scene is really good obviously. Different than the Toronto one for sure. I think the calibre of musicianship is much better here but the creativity is lacking. But that's just me. Also? British indie boys? zomg. ftw!


Some of the little sculptures and pieces of art that are found in and around London are just strange. This is very close to one of the first places I worked here. I mean look at it! It's looks like a giant hot dog ffs. Click on the photo to make it larger and see if you don't believe me.


I wish I had more money. Or conversely, I wish I was making some money. Did a bit of shopping today. Picked up some sweet Clarks for Aiya and decided to get a pair of shoes for myself as well. The dude at Footlocker was absolutely incredulous when I told him that my feet were a size 6 US. This is normally the case since I think I defy some sort of science laws. There is no way that someone of my size should be able to be held up by feet that are so tiny they look like they've been bound.

Plenty more things that need to be seen and explored. Of course I'll take 'actual' pictures with the Nikon eventually, I'm really digging the little Sony though. I usually don't die for electronic items, but I'm a fan of the camera. It's so convenient.