Monday, January 31, 2005

Resort fun circa 1986

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l-r Aiya, me and Gunther

I was digitizing a whole bunch of pictures last weekend. They were all really old school, from 1988 and earlier. Our entire life before we came to Canada pretty much. Most of the photographs are getting fuzzy and faded especially the colour ones from the 70s, but you know the old cliche "a picture is worth a thousand words." Most of them are really goofy, you know the usual collection of family photographs, nothing really profound exactly like our lives. As I was going through them though, I was struck by the above photo. Ammi had just gone to L.A. or to London (i don't remember which) and she was gone for about a month, so she and Thathi decided that we would go down south to a resort for a couple of days to spend some time together as a family. Aiya of course made fast friends with another little boy whom he spent most of our vacation with. His name was Gunther and he was visiting from Germany, he didn't speak any English and aiya didn't speak any German. They were pretty much insperable. Whenever Gunther's mom wanted to find him, she'd come to ammi and ask in broken English where he was, and Ammi did the same thing when she was looking for aiya. (Except not in broken English. I hope so at least.)

Even though this picture was taken almost 20 years ago, I couldn't but help thinking about the tsunami. It didn't take pictures of orphans in the newspapers, or black and bloated dead bodies on the internet for the gravity of the situation to hit me at a personal level. It was the picture of the three of us innocently smiling that did it for me. I wonder how many other little Gunthers and Erajs had become fast friends during an idyllic trip to the beaches of the south. It makes me go cold thinking about it. Not to be dramatic or anything, but that's what sealed the deal for me.

Speaking of tsunamis though, I think the current death toll is at 220,000. It's mind boggling to know that a lot of those deaths could have been prevented if there was a proper tsunami warning system in place. The amount of money that ordinary people are pouring out for relief is incredible too. I witnessed it first hand myself when i was taking phone pledges at the Canada for Asia benefit concert. There are some incredibly generous individuals out there. I was watching a documentary on the genocide in Sudan last nigt on the CBC called Living with Refugees. It was incredibly thought provoking. 300,000 people have died so far in the genocide there, and there are a further 2 million refugees. (That count doesn't include the amount of internally displaced people.) Here is another 'disaster' that could be averted. It's not as if people don't care, they do care, but it's difficult to get the attention of the neccessary people in government. Because really who are we kidding? Why should any of the Western nations help those in the Darfur region? There's absolutely no political gain to be had. Canada is more than willing to help with the tsunami relief efforts though. But only in Sri Lanka, even though Indonesia was the hardest hit area. Gee. I wonder why that would be. It probably has nothing to do with the huge Sri Lankan immigrant population in some of the key cities across Canada. I wonder how many votes the Liberals would be able to extract out of the Sudanese-Canadians?

*climbing off soapbox*


Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Double entendre this!

What's up with the "ironic" trend and when will it go away?! It was kitschy five years ago when UO started putting sexually charged slogans on seemingly innocent looking t-shirts, but now it's just getting plain tasteless. Sure FCUK is actually a nifty little acronym for French Connection: UK, and G-Sus isn't supposed to be another way of saying Jesus, it's supposed to mean G suspended as in the guitar chord. But does anyone know what TNA's excuse is? Because i have no idea. At the risk of sounding like a prude i find all of the above and then some really tasteless. Honestly what's the point of walking around with clothes that have the above brandings on them? (I don't even think FCUK clothes are even nice to begin with, but the G-Sus stuff, i'll admit, it's tempting ;) But not tempting enough!) It's not ironic! If anything it's borderline offensive, just like the Parasuco lesbian tag-team billboards. Just recently there was a bit of a brouhaha over someone wanting to use the acronym "WTF?" as a stand in for "Where's The Faith?" In my opinion that completely dilutes the point of the message. It's just as offensive as the underwear and bikini bottoms that Harrods was selling this summer. The ones with the hindu goddesses on them. Another example of pure tastelessness and lack of decorum. Yeah i'll shut up and have my high tea now. Everyone's entitled to be a bit prudish sometimes!

On a lighter note. Or perhaps a heavier one?
After coming back from the motherland Ammi has re-acquainted herself with some old friends and there has been a flurry of e-mails going back and forth between them. They're all hardcore artsies with a propensity for drama. Most of them (when we were still in Sri Lanka) were really fond of Aiya due to his rampant ADD and bouts of dyslexia; they haven't seen him in many years, so Ammi decided to send them some pictures! Of course she picked the MOST unflattering picture of the two us from my 20th birthday soiree and promptly proceeded to e-mail them half way across the world. Everyone responded in the same manner, "Oh Eraj (Aiya) looks just like Eksath (Thathi)!" and everyone ignored the other half of the picture. Me. Then along came Richard Simon who said "Eraj still looks just like Eksath and D still looks just like you (only a little bit plumper.)" Only a little bit PLUMPER? What the heck is that?! Come on Richard, if you're going to say someone's fat, then be a little bit more eloquent! You are a professional writer after all. Here is a sample of Richard's greatness.

Speaking of people being fat, has anyone caught the new George Stroumboulopoulos show on CBC Newsworld? The Hour? Anyone else noticed how much weight he's lost?! And a little tip to his make-up artist, go easy on the blush, the rosy cheeked thing doesn't really fly well on him. I'm a little bit disappointed about the show i must say, and i consider myself a fan! He was really the only redeeming thing about MuchMusic but the CBC's trying too hard to market his show as "edgey" and in your face, but poor Georgie's left looking like a try hard. He is edgey, and in your face; now he just comes across as unnatural. Sadly that's what happens on the CBC don't you think? They try sooo hard to market a person as being a certain way that they end up making caricatures of them. For example This Hour Has 22 Minutes and The Royal Canadian Airfarce, they'd have you believe that these shows are side splittingly funny. They have their moments, but by and large it's cheese. I guess that's marketing for you, but if that's the case then the CBC should get a new marketing company, our move out of doing it in-house!

Monday, January 17, 2005

Has anyone seen a Mr. T. Sumani?

Hi you have reached the Jayawi... residence sorry we missed your call...
That's what our answering machine message sounds like now, but after December 26 i was so flipping tempted to change it to:

"Hi Ammi and Thathi are fine and alive, the entire island of Sri Lanka isn't under water, Oliver's still eating house plants and yes aiya and I are not starving and have not killed each other yet. If you're calling for any of the above thanks for your concern but please don't leave a message after the beep. Have a great day!"

For those of you who did call, thanks for all your concern it was much appreciated. But i think even the sanest of people would go insane if they had to walk in every day and hear "You have 14 new messages." And i'm not the sanest. Well ammi and thathi are back and are no worse for their trip, maybe just a little bit heavier ;) Of course they brought back some wicked stuff for us, mainly in the area of Mammah's (my grandmother, thathi's mom) baked goods, art work (or ahhht as we prefer to call it) and my personal favourite, family heirlooms. They didn't come back with a whole whack load of stuff like they normally do, granted the situation in the country didn't exactly lend itself to the wild shopping sprees that my parents are usually wont to take part in. Nevertheless the tsunami hung over pretty much every aspect of their vacation although they weren't directly affected by it.

Here i could regale you with stories about friends dying, almost dying and devastation. But i'm not the BBC so i won't. Instead here's a cheesey joke that emobdies all things Sri Lankan. Aunty Shiromal (who owns the Jetwing travel group of hotels and has her own tsunami tragedy stories) related this to ammi and thathi over dinner one evening. A little bit of background for those of you who might not know, apparently some geographical centre or something in Hawaii knew that the tsunami was going to strike S. East Asia and were trying to figure out a way to inform the countries that would be effected.

Person from Hawaii: "Hi may i speak to the President please?"
Sri Lankan: "Sorry she can't come to the phone right now may i take a message?"
Person from Hawaii: "Listen, it's very urgent that someone knows that a tsunami is coming from Indonesia, will you be able to inform the proper people?"
Sri Lankan: "Sir I can assure you that it will be taken care of. How do you spell tsunami?"
Person from Hawaii: "T-S-U-N-A-M-I"
Sri Lankan: "Thanks for informing us."
A little while later
Sri Lankan (To President): Mrs. President, someone from Hawaii called to tell us that a Mr. T. Sumani was arriving from Indonesia today, I didn't want to bother you with it so i sent the driver and the car to the aiport with a sign "MR.T.SUMANI from INDONESIA" to pick him up, but so far no one's shown up.

Isn't that great? I probably got it wrong in the re-telling, but you get the idea :P

Guilty pleasures are embarassing, but so good at the same time...
Along with Maroon 5, salacious celebrity gossip also finds its way on my long list of guilty pleasures. But it's not often that celebrity gossip will get me thinking. You must admit that this is starting out to sound like an oxymoron, but hear me out! Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are separated, big deal you say. (I immediately said that i hope Jen dies, Brad becomes a Christian, moves to Toronto and starts attending our local church. Therefore making him available, no strings attached. Don't scoff. It could happen!) What really gets my quince about the whole issue is that Jennifer Aniston is suddenly being demonized for not wanting to have children. What are we living in the Middle Ages people? So what if she wants to put her career first, she's made the responsible and honest choice. God only knows how horrible the lives of her children might be if she didn't put them first, at least she know where her priorities lie. So back off, even my best friend Oprah doesn't want to have kids for the same reason! But then again, Oprah's not married to Brad Pitt.

I will be accepting housewarming gifts in denominations of 10
Aiya got me a new wallet. A cute little Matt and Nat number. Although i'm not a vegan nor do i ever intend on becoming one, the wallet's pretty fly. Is it just me, or is getting a new wallet a lot like moving? I mean making that transfer of highly personal items from a space that you've long had and are totally used to, into this harsh new space which you need to get accustomed to. You know, trying to crack the code of the new snap button, and finding the rhythm of the zipper on the coin purse. And of course, getting used to looking into a new wallet that is devoid of any money will take a while to get used to. You can make your housewarming gifts payable to me.

Quips
Man, something about the holidays makes people say absurd things. Not that we don't say absurd things otherwise. It just seems like we say more stupidness after long periods of time away from work and school.

Me: SoOoOoOo who wants to come with me to the Netherlands this summer?! It'll be fun, we can go backpacking!!
Genis: Isn't the Netherlands in Ireland?

Labro: Yeah she's really butch
Me: So she's all ugly and mannish?
Labro: Not really, she's just butch
Me: I don't get it, how can she butch and not mannish and ugly?!

Labro: I can't explain it!
Philbert: She means she's a tomboy
Me: *GASP* if you call her 'Butch' and she's just a tomboy, what would you call ME, Emily?!
Everyone: *hysterical laughter*
Labro: uh...

Her: Seriously though, i have nothing to be jealous of. I mean. You saw her picture.
Me: You did NOT just say that.
Her: No. Wait! I didn't mean it like that!!

Ammi bought aiya and i these KICK ARSE Mont Blanc attache cases. Aiya got a tan leather one, and i got a black one. Trust me, we're just one trip away from Marks Work Wearhouse from looking like two pathetic grad students. (Although aiya looks more like one than i do, b/c he has the little plaid shirt, cord pants, boots and Columbia jacket, all we have to do is make him wear them all at once and get him some nice arcticware gloves!) This is a convo we had about the merits of carrying around said attache cases.
Me: Ammi, how come you and thathi didn't pick up attache cases for yourselves?
Aiya: Yeah ammi, they're perfect for dumping all your crap into! Especially when you go for meetings
, then you won't have to lug around your papers.
Ammi: I don't need an attache case, i have an assistant

Aiya: I'm sorry we're not in the business of feeling sorry for people, we're in the business of exploiting them

Ahh, aiya you put it so well. Exploitation is the name of the game kids!

PS: Abs and Debs, i couldn't be MORE excited!