Friday, February 08, 2008

I'm too sexy for my shirt.


'Sup bitchz?


So yeah. I like to emasculate my dog. What of it? As much as he'll fuss, he seems to enjoy it too.

Also, I am resisting the urge to take a bite out of him when he runs around in this little polo. He's got a yellow one too.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

恭喜發財!



Happy Chinese New Year bitchz


And for those of us who are not so down with the Chinese script, kung hei fat choi!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Quips: The Super Bowl Edition

Has it really been this long
since the last edition of quips? Awful.

Live blogging from the Super Bowl! It could be because I will be passing out directly after the game is over. And right now it's going so slowly I figured I could squeeze in a wee bit o' blogging.

We are a family of eaters. It's well documented. Super Bowl is usually tex-mex, as an homage to our neighbours to the South, also fitting since this year's game was in Arizona.

Aiya was in charge of doing the chicken wings and salsa, he was supposed to bring around some guac but apparently the hotel "ran out" of avocados. Pfft. The chicken wings of course were fab, and he concocted the perfect hot sauce for it.

Me: This hot sauce isn't so bad, why'd you make it so mild?
Aiya: You know Ammi can't handle the spice.
Me: OMG *coughing*
Aiya: *laughing manically*
Me: Dude. What the hell, this shit is hot.
Aiya: I know, i made it so it would have a delayed reaction.
Me: *sputtering* It really gets you unaware
Aiya: Yes. I call it the pervert, the feeling of the burn is the same as when you've been felt up by someone unwanted.
Me: So like when you're on a crowded bus in Sri Lanka?
Aiya: Exactly.

I had planned on setting up a photo opp with Oliver and Cedric an mentioned this to Aiya. Laziness of course prevented me from going through with it.
Me: Dude, I think Cedric's red hat will make him a perfect Giant's fan. I smell photo-op
Aiya: I want a smallish doll/action figure to take photos of in various situations.
Me: I can get you a gnome too, but you don't really travel.
Aiya: No guy. I'm going to get a Blythe Doll. And then dress it up as a chef.
Me: You are teh ghey.

Discussing who we were rooting for.
Aiya: So who's your support behind?
Me: Pats all the way. You?
Aiya: You know, I'm sort of feeling the Giants.
Me: WTF? Why? You hate New Yorkers!
Aiya: I know, but it would be sort of nice for both those brothers to have rings.
Me: Dude. So ghey. What's their dad's name again?
Aiya: Preston Manning.
Me: SHUT THE MOM UP! Like Preston Manning? As in PRESTON MANNING?
Aiya: You're an idiot, no his name's Walter Manning.
Me: Dude, that's so uncanny though.
Aiya: You know he's their dad's cousin though right? The Manning with the brains.
Me: Shut up.

Oliver was wondering in and out of the room through the course of the evening. At one point he was sitting half on my lap and half on thathi's.
The room collectively: EWW what the hell is that smell.
Me: that was Oliver, he just let one rip. I felt it.
Thathi: Chik Oliver!
Oliver: Tries to snuggle up to thathi
Me: *Looks down at where Oliver was sitting* OMG, OLIVER. YOU FAG.
Aiya: What did he do?
Me: HE LEFT A SKID MARK ON MY PANT LEG.
The Room: *Collective Laughter*
A little while later
Ammi: What's that stench?
Me: That would be me.
Aiya: It's all that pervert she ate.
Ammi: *Looking for another place to sit* Thathi! Move your legs (she doesn't actually call him thathi, but come on.)
Aiya: Ammi, are you sure you want to do that? He had a lot of pervert too.
Ammi: I'm going to sit here on the couch, move your legs, and don't fart. Or if you're going to, tell me so I can brace myself.
Me: You're kidding right? You actually expect him to do be able to do that?
Aiya: Ammi, come on, that's like asking the guy not to breath. What's wrong with you?

And that's a wrap kids.

Oh and yes. The game is starting to heat up. I will not be formating the above. New York seems to have the game. :29 seconds left!

Edit 1: 1 second to go
People have now rushed the field, someone has been prematurely dumped with gatorade and New York already has their victory hats on.
Aiya: TAKE THOSE HATS OFF, THEY'RE NOT YOURS.
Aiya: Imagine if New England does something to win? They'd have to vacuum that guy dry.

Edit 2: The Giants have won.
Plexico takes the field to do his victory interview.
Aiya: Here comes the eloquence we've been waiting for all evening. WTF kind of name is Plexico anyways? It sounds like glass or something.