Horror Stories from the Ivory Towers

Safe to say that I'm not the only one who's drowning in a ridiculous amount of work for Uni? What is up with the mass conspiracy to murder your students in the middle two weeks of October you tenured professors? Jebus.

One of the ways I cope with stress is to get annoyed. Annoyed easily at really small mundane things. Because I'm petty like that.

Bananas
I'm not a huge fan of bananas. Caribbean plantain as a side to oxtail stew and peas? I'm so there. Bananas by themselves straight out of the peel? Not so much. And it's not because of this general dislike for bananas that I believe that eating them in public should be banned. But have you noticed that people tend to over chew bananas? There really is a reason why this is one of the first foods moms give their babies. You don't need teeth to eat them. Which means you don't need to chew them, they're mush for Pete's sake. The sound of an over chewed banana drives me to a homicidal rage. Especially in an area that is full of silence, or where the drone of one solitary voice is gently putting me to sleep, i.e. a lecture. Stop. Before I kill.

Well Groomed People
Seriously? Where do you guys get the time? And more specifically how come I don't have the same leisure? My hair is now entering into its umpteenth day of general grossness; when pulled back into a ponytail it looks more like a squirrel's tail. And you guys know how much I hate squirrels, so this is distressing to me. The other day when I was at the Dollar Store picking some randomness up, someone asked me if I worked there. That. Never. Happens. I felt like sitting down and crying in the middle of the aisle because my worst fear has become realised. I look like I belong in Scarborough. All my life I've been trying to run away from that reality. But I guess now is as good a time as ever to embrace the ghetto fabulousness that surrounds me.

Umesh
Yeah. He still bugs me. I have the pleasure of being in a class again with him this year.
Me: So how was your Thanksgiving?
Him: Oh, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving
Me: *pretending to be uninterested b/c I so already regret asking him anything* I was thankful for the day off
Him: I think the whole concept of Thanksgiving is stupid, because we're effectively celebrating the genocide of an entire population, because that's what happened when the pioneers came to Canada...
Me: Yeah I don't really like turkey all that much either...

I don't even want to know what his thoughts on Christmas are. All I know is that he needs to extricate that pickle that seems to be permanently lodged in his nether regions soon. Otherwise it could become very septic. (<-- I just finished watching an episode of House. In retrospect I guess I could've used that time to groom myself. Damn you hindsight.)