So Vindicated hit me with a tag for that whole "letter to your 16 year old self thing" and I believe it's been years since I was last compelled to take part in one of these memes. How dare you! Thinking back to 16 makes me so depressed because I can barely remember that far back. I've decided to be sporting (despite not knowing the rules) so here goes.
You know that feeling that you get? When you look back at your 13 year old-self? And want to slap her silly? That does not fade. You will constantly want to go back in time and roundhouse kick some sense into your past self. Something tells me that we will always feel like this no matter.
Where should I start?
16 is a monumental year for you. First off, that brain aneurysm that Ammi will supposedly die of? No fear, that wasn't an aneurysm and she's actually still alive. You will however carry the emotional trauma of that and the fall out from her illness around for a long time. Actually both you and Aiya do, and in typical fashion deal with it in completely opposite ways. You both survive. Next year will sort of suck though, not going to lie. You decide that you're going to completely rebel against everything and become a serious pain in the ass. Like for real. You break your parents' heart by turning against religion, God and the institutionalised church, but they both survive. Despite the turmoil so do you. Your relationship with them drastically changes, but that's to be expected.
You feel stifled. Believe me. This feeling NEVER GOES AWAY. You will always feel suffocated you also believe that life will change once you get out of your tiny shit school and meet some new people. Fact: Life still sucks and all those friends you labeled as being "circumstantial," (just your friends because there are no other options) actually turn out to be the best friends you will ever have in life. You stay close to them through your undergraduate degrees, med school, law school, teachers college. You name it. You will be a bridesmaid and hate every moment of it, but you suck it up and do it. Then they start having babies, (which yes, even now freaks you out) and you have no idea what to do with these small creatures, but as they start getting older and you see flashes of their parents in their faces you realise that your past nomadic life may well be in the past because you're actually around to see this shit happen.
Yeah, you know that whole traveling thing? It dogs you man, all your life and you totally embrace it. You travel, a lot (your goal of living and working in two countries on every continent is right on track). And you experience all sorts of fantastic things. That drive to live in another country out of a suitcase sort of wanes eventually, but never dies! You start to realise how much you're missing at home. With that said, the time you spent working at an NGO in Sri Lanka? Good on you. Sometimes you'll wonder wtf you're doing, but stick with it. If anything it gives you a chance to know your family and grandparents in Colombo on a level that would never have been possible before. Looking back you'll be happy about this because your grandfather does not live forever, you won't be full of regrets like aiya.
Speaking of Sri Lanka, you are blown away by the awesome people you meet while you're there (none of whom you work with or are related to hah). One of them will even move to Canada and ingrain himself in your life, the same way those friends from high school do. He becomes a common fixture at the Christmas dinner table, the guest bedroom and even gets exposed to Aiya's girlfriends too.
You become easier on the people around you and become much more accepting. This is a good thing because your social sphere also expands and your friends become an eclectic mix of strangeness. You will never attempt to gather them all in one place for this reason.
The best example of this is the monumental nerd that flies into your peripheral this year. You will ignore him. For years. And years. He will tutor your baby cousin in calculus and you won't know he exists until one Thanksgiving you're forced to roast 38 turkeys and have no other option than to speak to him. Go with it. He will irritate you, you will want to kill him, but give him a chance because he turns out to be nothing at all like you expected. He reads Wuthering Heights voluntarily and becomes slightly less nerdy because of your influence. In turn he becomes a place of calm and reasoning in the midst of much insanity for you. It also helps that he's deliciously good looking and most of the single females in your acquaintance are madly jealous.
The most important thing that you'll discover later in life is how to weed people out. This is pertinent to your well being. All those people who are on a crusade to save you from yourself? Good news! They'll mostly be gone by the time you hit your 3rd year of university. You stop feeling the need to explain yourself to people and being misunderstood isn't so bad because you stop caring. Life keeps going on and it's not that bad.
Unfortunately you're a bit hit and miss in the boy department. Most of your relationships fizzle out and die a pathetic death because you refuse to be changed. A douche will famously quote to you the third stanza from "Marching Bands of Manhattan" in an attempt to make you feel badly about yourself, but instead you will feel emboldened and kick him to the curb. This is a trend that continues with you. It is also awesome.
You are also still terribly verbose. We will stop now.
Annnnnnnnnd I tag Tiny Little Fascist and Curious Yellow.
Showing posts with label tiny little fascist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tiny little fascist. Show all posts
Monday, November 23, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I was driving home last Sunday around 4:30ish from Debbie's place in some pretty heavy stop and go traffic. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon, I was on the cusp of a rice coma and to prevent myself from falling asleep at the wheel I turned on the radio. Fortunately for me I was able to catch the tail end of the Strombo Show and he was previewing some tracks off of the new Decemberists' album, The Hazards of Love.
As I listened to "The Rake's Song" and mentally went over the day (I was dragged to a Bridal show), a Cheshire Cat type grin spread across my face. Of course I fully empathised with the narrator (despite not being 21 anymore *sob*). Ever since the general unwashed masses found out about Debbie's impending nuptials, Abi and I have started getting some crazy heat from all and sundry about "settling down." As I've mentioned in the past there's nothing unusual with that, but lately we're finding the renewed interest a bit harder to laugh off. Mostly because it's coming from people who should genuinely know better. Abi's a sweet, good natured person and you can generally guess how I, ever the commitmentphobe, have been dealing.
Alby was in town over the weekend for a few wedding related festivities and we got to talking about how last year this time I was in London. Being in a bit of a nostalgic mood here are a few journal entries from that time that've been in the vault.
March 4, 2008
It's amazing what can happen in a month.
Just over a month ago I was super stoked for my big move to London and my trip to Barcelona. Instead all the plans that I had and the way I had envisaged myself settling into this next phase of my life essentially got side swiped like a car at a T-junction.
Did a run to IKEA the other night with Thorn, probably didn't need to but I wanted things to feel a bit normal. Picked up some stuff to make my "room" a bit more habitable. I use quotes because I swear this place is smaller than my walk-in closet in Toronto. I felt lost last week, it's been years since I've felt that way.
Alby was totally aghast. God only knows what Labro would've done to me. Probably punched me in the face and told me to man up and find some balls. Just like how it's amazing what can happen in a month, I'm struck by how much has happened in a week. Tez witnessed The Panic which lasted give or take 2 days. But still, I don't panic to that degree ever. Things are starting to look up.
April 22, 2008
I have now worked at a grand total of 2 boutique ad agencies since coming to London. My lovely headhunter warned me ahead of time to brace myself for what would be an immense culture shock. Corporate whoring aside, working in London is a different beast altogether.
I have moaned and groaned about not being taken seriously because of my fluid identity time and time again. The weekend found thorn and I at a dingy club, unsurprisingly I was the only coloured person in the joint. Usually there's at least a token black person. Not this time. Some shitfaced cockney and one of his mates came up to us and in a vain attempt to pick me up asked me if I was black.
Yeah. Needless to say he didn't get very far.
And because the walk down memory lane didn't end there, here are some tweets (I feel like that's the only way to legitimise the above screenshot). Plus the vast majority of you wouldn't have even read this while they were happening since they're restricted. I hardly did any blogging while I was in the UK so here goes:
I have rediscovered twitter. less emo more happy!
6:40 PM Mar 25th, 2008 from web
I'm gainfully employed bitchz!
10:34 AM Mar 31st, 2008 from web
@drac I want to be intoxicated in some form or manner too! Just cashed my last lot of traveler's cheques. unpleasant.
12:45 PM Apr 1st, 2008 from web
@tezcat i'm wracking my brains trying to figure out the name of the green book on sustainable development is. Damn you Goodreads. Damn you.
5:12 PM Apr 1st, 2008 from web
I have eaten the best sammich ever. Who knew crumpets could be that good?
5:26 PM Apr 2nd, 2008 from web
Why is the washing machine making that noise? It's either going to flood the flat or burn it down. I will not be held responsible for either.
9:29 AM Apr 3rd, 2008 from web
Flatmate went drinking @ the tate+house party in the lower flat+really hot italians=a ditched Pula and fun times.
12:32 AM Apr 5th, 2008 from web
When asking about my Sat night plans the flatmate accused me of being the 'thinking man's nympho.' wtf indeed peeps. wtf indeed.
8:40 AM Apr 5th, 2008 from web
Correction: apparently it was actually the "cerebral man's nympho," because that makes it better.
9:08 AM Apr 5th, 2008 from web
I have a new British ghey bestfriend. weeee!
9:07 AM Apr 6th, 2008 from web
'Ah so that's what your initials stands for. I'm not going to be insulting & try to pronounce it'
5:56 PM Apr 6th, 2008 from txt
My new job sucks but is $ coming in. If 1 more person says I have a 'beautiful name' I may go Waco.
5:52 AM Apr 7th, 2008 from txt
flatmates are screaming "GOAL." Apparently there's a football game. I'm displeased. Trying to catch up on missed episodes of Project Runway
2:00 PM Apr 8th, 2008 from web
@TinyLF "PENALTY, PENALTY" is being screamed at horrendous volumes.
3:28 PM Apr 8th, 2008 from web in reply to TinyLF
the (football) hoodlums have no made it to the street.
4:08 PM Apr 8th, 2008 from web
I'm headed 2 a funeral in Brixton & the Black Crows are playing the Sound Academy. Bleh.
6:53 PM Apr 9th, 2008 from txt
Checking out guys at a funeral is so tasteless. Please feel free to disagree. Anyone?
8:12 PM Apr 9th, 2008 from txt
I have been informed that i need to know about quantitative research methods for tomorrow. wtf! I'm an arts student, we don't know this shit.
5:27 PM Apr 9th, 2008 from web
Job interview #459285. "Bring your passport" they say. Am I going to be sold into slavery? Who knows.
9:48 AM Apr 10th, 2008 from web
Another interview, another job offer, another "wtf a 1 year work visa?" another monumental PHAIL.
3:58 PM Apr 10th, 2008 from web
Applying for jobs in Toronto while I'm in London. Decidedly teh weirdness. How the mighty have fallen etc.
9:43 AM Apr 10th, 2008 from web
Gah. it has been a truly bipolar day. Interview at DDB London for an actual short term contract position.
12:18 PM Apr 10th, 2008 from web
The mater arrives at Heathrow in T -1hr15mins. Must get supplies.
12:53 PM Apr 11th, 2008 from web
Mater & the aunt are totally MIA. Only my family'll do this kind of shiz.
3:34 PM Apr 11th, 2008 from txt
Doesn't matter how old you are, having your mom around when things go to shit is awesome.
6:20 PM Apr 11th, 2008 from txt
Is there a soccer game tonite? Lots of hot boys in blue Chelsea jerseys
6:47 PM Apr 14th, 2008 from txt
Half a glass of wine shouldn't make anyone this giggly. Gawd. I need new friends
9:06 PM Apr 14th, 2008 from txt
Crazy bag lady screamed out 'go home paki' as I walked by. At least toronto homeless aren't racists. They are bitter though.
4:56 PM Apr 14th, 2008 from txt
'Just print out your timesheet on the printer called "sausage."' How can I possibly keep a straight face?
11:31 AM Apr 15th, 2008 from web
ZOMG! Hottest guy in London sitting next to me on the tube & I look like total ass. Why God? Why?! /shakes fist.
2:41 PM Apr 16th, 2008 from txt
Frenchman, French novels and conversations in French. Bliss?
8:33 PM Apr 17th, 2008 from txt
The hordes of teenage girls at the Primark on Oxford St must die. Or maybe i'll just cut them all instead? Teh rage. I have it.
3:38 PM Apr 18th, 2008 from txt
Do I srsly need another pair of kickass over priced sneakers? Should I be buying 'grown up shoes?' Heels? Psylog?
4:39 PM Apr 18th, 2008 from txt
Non-English speaking flatmate ftw! 'how do you say a transformers?' 'dude you mean transexual?'
11:42 PM Apr 19th, 2008 from txt
What a flipping sausage fest. Cutest boy in da house 'i really like your trainers.' I made the right choice!
12:18 AM Apr 20th, 2008 from txt
Comparing me to a Postal Service song & then telling me you like beer? I'm in love!
12:32 AM Apr 19th, 2008 from txt
When did doing lines in the livingroom at 6pm on a Sunday become acceptable? I'm getting old.
^:18 PM Apr 20th, 2008 from txt
'Mind if I pop my stuff at the end of your thing while I go for a wee?' Damn you British people, don't you realise? Innuendo is everywhere!
11:04 AM Apr 22nd, 2008 from web
Perhaps I'm just actually a 12 year old boy?
11:04 AM Apr 22nd, 2008 from web
I'm always lost. Yet tourists come to me as if I know wtf I'm doing and where places are.
12:21 PM Apr 22nd, 2008 from txt
Why is it that in any part of the world Sri Lankan Airlines is always out to eff you over?
11:00 AM Apr 23rd, 2008 from web
Tube? I will not miss you. No. Srsly I won't. There's no hope for reconciliation.
3:25 PM Apr 23rd, 2008 from txt
Damn you lolcats. I no longer know how to spell MOAR.
9:18 AM Apr 24th, 2008 from txt
Wtf do Italian fiends always have to travel in packs of 20?! If I hear Napoli 1 MOAR time...
2:07 PM Apr 24th, 2008 from txt
I hate taking all my gear to concerts. If you had any sense you'd know that my mac is low end, the camera is shit and not professional.
2:42 PM Apr 24th, 2008 from txt
The camera lenses are crap too. This is why I don't have a press pass you idiots.
2:44 PM Apr 24th, 2008 from txt
Contact highs ftl! I have the munchies. Loud Americans! Always ruining good music for everyone.
3:45 PM Apr 24th, 2008 from txt
Is it totally pathetic that I keep thinking I see my toronto peeps everywhere because I'm so excited about going home? A bit?
10:40 AM Apr 25th, 2008 from txt
ZOMG! Two geese are getting it on at St James park. I may throw up my sammich.
1:50 PM Apr 25th, 2008 from txt
Murukku & spanish rioja ftw. That's the way to keep it classy.
11:45 PM Apr 25th, 2008 from txt
Srsly you have to stop talking. No one cares. I don't want to hear about how you 'nearly scored' last nite. I was THERE & no you didn't.
11:53 PM Apr 25th, 2008 from txt
No he doesn't love you & you've never done coke you've just met your 2 glass of quota of wine. Stop with the paint by numbers psychology.
12:47 AM Apr 26th, 2008 from txt
Chelsea fans everywhere. They've overridden the tube. As if this journey wasn't going to normally be painful enough.
2:11 PM Apr 26th, 2008 from txt
There are cops all up in my hood because of the football rowdies. Hot men in uniform ftw!
2:26 PM Apr 26th, 2008 from txt
So apparently that big structure that I can see from my window is the Chelsea grounds. All of a sudden things make sense.
2:58 PM Apr 26th, 2008 from txt
Goodbye London. You were an utter bitch but I'll still miss you.
11:13 AM Apr 26th, 2008 from txt
Toronto. It is good to be in your familiar embrace once again but why does it still feel like winter?! And you feel a bit distant.
9:19 AM Apr 27th, 2008 from txt
/fin
Monday, December 22, 2008
philth
My failures at thoroughly cleaning out my room are well documented. The last time I attempted I got severely derailed because I found heaps of old things that I didn't know I had and then took pictures. This time an ultimatum was passed down by Ammi over the weekend. Under no circumstances was the new year allowed to befall without a complete clean up of the living quarters. What antiquated superstition she was trying to impose on me only God knows but I did comply. For very different reasons, but still.
1. Running out of clean clothes: scrounging around for clean socks and underwear at ungodly hours of the morning are not acceptable practice for someone who keeps everything so finely timed (i.e. does not roll out of bed until absolutely necessary)
2. Newly acquired clothing was going missing. Ditto for pairs of shoes. I could locate one while the other would be carelessly tossed into some corner not to be found until unneeded.
3. I was starting to get grossed out.
It should come as no surprise that having a steady paycheque has also meant a steady influx of new material possessions.
I rocked a sari for the very first time at V-mantie's wedding in October. I think alby may have very well nearly shit herself. Ammi naturally had to treat herself to some new threads as well because sari shopping with me was no easy feat. That scarf is the blouse piece from one that she picked up. The cardi's new and that t-shirt is an oldie but a goodie. Aiya bought it for me a couple of summers back and it's one of my prized possessions.
Yes. Yes. Poor Oliver. Enough. If he wants to lounge uninvited on my bed he must pay. So yet another fedora to add the collection of wool ones that I never wear. In my defence it was going on sale for 10 bucks at Urban Outfitters. How can you say no to a deal like that??
When does a super cute clutch ever need an explanation? That shirt on the other hand, it's a story in and of itself. It's actually an ancient Club Monaco shirt of Aiya's that I now wear as a wrap dress. Honestly, it's a men's XXL. There's not much else that I could do with it but I love the colour palette.
If I knew how to paint I'd imagine myself wearing a smock similar to do this while pretending to be inspired. One thing that's died very hard in my foray into bonafide corporate whoring is giving up the kitschy wardrobe. I try to mix it up as much as I can with faux-vintage pieces like this but sadly they only come out to play on casual Fridays. In my past life this would've been considered "meeting attire."
That inability to wear heels? Yeah. I still haven't found a cure for that debilitating disease yet. It's tough seeing Labro every single day at work and have her tower over me. Sadly the option of falling on my ass every time there's a lump in the rug really is not viable either. What? Flats can be hot too!
Ugh. What is up with the snow? You know all these weather peeps were saying that this year we wouldn't get pelted with as much snow as last but I think those mofos be lying yo. The last couple of days have really not been fun and from what I understand this week's not going to be overly pretty either. Thankfully I got my new boots just in time and believe me, sourcing these out was NOT an easy task. When it comes to winter boots I am uber picky. I haven't bought a new pair in over four years because I was totally in love with my old ones. (I got them from Gap kids!)
Mad Men is one of my favourite TV shows. It's interesting because out of all the shit you find running during the summer this is actually a show that Ammi and I can agree on watching. She sits back in abject horror and relives what it was like to be a woman breaking into the early days of the ad industry and lust after Ms. Holloway. Anyone who can get away with saying "décolletage" without coming across like an utter tool is A-OK in my books. If I had the above blouse and shoes around Halloween I totally would've dressed up as Joan. Alas both were rather recent acquisitions.
Vests like clutches? Never enough I say! Especially when they have been bought at 85% off the original price. Even I like to bargain shop folks. Don't be fooled.
Who knew that my new favourite pair of jeans would come from Old Navy! I sure as hell never did. Those shoes, I *heart* them but they're damn uncomfortable. I need to invest in some good insoles ASAP. Also, what is up with those weird veins popping out of my feet? WTF. I really hope it's the weird angle that I was holding the camera in because that's just creepy. From my vantage point I've never seen those before!
Handbag purchases fall into a category all on their own. Unlike a clutch I will not impulsively buy a handbag. The issue is that I hate carrying around a camera bag with all my gear shoved into it, I'd much rather have a roomy handbag. I feel a bit less paparazzo you know? This bag is parfait. It's got loads of space for my camera body, 3 lenses, external flash and even tripod attachment pieces with room left over for other shit. The best thing? I personally don't think it comes across looking like a massive Mary Poppins bag. Oh. The scarf I'm wearing around my wrist? A gift from Aiya. The only piece of Liz Claiborne in my wardrobe. Since my bed was occupied by a sleeping hound I had to take advantage of the parentals' room for this photo.
See above: inability to wear heels. Also, my current favourite pair of socks :)
I found this scarf tucked away in a bag of stuff that I hadn't touched since coming back from London. Man, talk about sentimental value. It was one of my very first purchases from the Salvation Army way, way back in high school. I'm pretty sure that I was with alby when I hunted this down and paid 75 cents for it. Technically not a new item, but a found one! That cardigan? Hah, I picked that up at a dodgy store in Wellawatte right across the street from the Savoy. Best 250 Rs I ever spent in my life.
I was in desperate need of a new winter coat. One day when I was waiting to pick up the fascist from the bus station I popped into the local H&M and walked out with an inexpensive winter coat. Natch I needed to get a bag to match. Incidentally those leather gloves are actually goatskin ones that I bought at Odel about 4 years ago. They're perfect for winter driving because I can't deal with a frozen steering wheel and these take the chill right out.
1. Running out of clean clothes: scrounging around for clean socks and underwear at ungodly hours of the morning are not acceptable practice for someone who keeps everything so finely timed (i.e. does not roll out of bed until absolutely necessary)
2. Newly acquired clothing was going missing. Ditto for pairs of shoes. I could locate one while the other would be carelessly tossed into some corner not to be found until unneeded.
3. I was starting to get grossed out.
It should come as no surprise that having a steady paycheque has also meant a steady influx of new material possessions.
I rocked a sari for the very first time at V-mantie's wedding in October. I think alby may have very well nearly shit herself. Ammi naturally had to treat herself to some new threads as well because sari shopping with me was no easy feat. That scarf is the blouse piece from one that she picked up. The cardi's new and that t-shirt is an oldie but a goodie. Aiya bought it for me a couple of summers back and it's one of my prized possessions.
Yes. Yes. Poor Oliver. Enough. If he wants to lounge uninvited on my bed he must pay. So yet another fedora to add the collection of wool ones that I never wear. In my defence it was going on sale for 10 bucks at Urban Outfitters. How can you say no to a deal like that??
When does a super cute clutch ever need an explanation? That shirt on the other hand, it's a story in and of itself. It's actually an ancient Club Monaco shirt of Aiya's that I now wear as a wrap dress. Honestly, it's a men's XXL. There's not much else that I could do with it but I love the colour palette.
If I knew how to paint I'd imagine myself wearing a smock similar to do this while pretending to be inspired. One thing that's died very hard in my foray into bonafide corporate whoring is giving up the kitschy wardrobe. I try to mix it up as much as I can with faux-vintage pieces like this but sadly they only come out to play on casual Fridays. In my past life this would've been considered "meeting attire."
That inability to wear heels? Yeah. I still haven't found a cure for that debilitating disease yet. It's tough seeing Labro every single day at work and have her tower over me. Sadly the option of falling on my ass every time there's a lump in the rug really is not viable either. What? Flats can be hot too!
Ugh. What is up with the snow? You know all these weather peeps were saying that this year we wouldn't get pelted with as much snow as last but I think those mofos be lying yo. The last couple of days have really not been fun and from what I understand this week's not going to be overly pretty either. Thankfully I got my new boots just in time and believe me, sourcing these out was NOT an easy task. When it comes to winter boots I am uber picky. I haven't bought a new pair in over four years because I was totally in love with my old ones. (I got them from Gap kids!)
Mad Men is one of my favourite TV shows. It's interesting because out of all the shit you find running during the summer this is actually a show that Ammi and I can agree on watching. She sits back in abject horror and relives what it was like to be a woman breaking into the early days of the ad industry and lust after Ms. Holloway. Anyone who can get away with saying "décolletage" without coming across like an utter tool is A-OK in my books. If I had the above blouse and shoes around Halloween I totally would've dressed up as Joan. Alas both were rather recent acquisitions.
Vests like clutches? Never enough I say! Especially when they have been bought at 85% off the original price. Even I like to bargain shop folks. Don't be fooled.
Who knew that my new favourite pair of jeans would come from Old Navy! I sure as hell never did. Those shoes, I *heart* them but they're damn uncomfortable. I need to invest in some good insoles ASAP. Also, what is up with those weird veins popping out of my feet? WTF. I really hope it's the weird angle that I was holding the camera in because that's just creepy. From my vantage point I've never seen those before!
Handbag purchases fall into a category all on their own. Unlike a clutch I will not impulsively buy a handbag. The issue is that I hate carrying around a camera bag with all my gear shoved into it, I'd much rather have a roomy handbag. I feel a bit less paparazzo you know? This bag is parfait. It's got loads of space for my camera body, 3 lenses, external flash and even tripod attachment pieces with room left over for other shit. The best thing? I personally don't think it comes across looking like a massive Mary Poppins bag. Oh. The scarf I'm wearing around my wrist? A gift from Aiya. The only piece of Liz Claiborne in my wardrobe. Since my bed was occupied by a sleeping hound I had to take advantage of the parentals' room for this photo.
See above: inability to wear heels. Also, my current favourite pair of socks :)
I found this scarf tucked away in a bag of stuff that I hadn't touched since coming back from London. Man, talk about sentimental value. It was one of my very first purchases from the Salvation Army way, way back in high school. I'm pretty sure that I was with alby when I hunted this down and paid 75 cents for it. Technically not a new item, but a found one! That cardigan? Hah, I picked that up at a dodgy store in Wellawatte right across the street from the Savoy. Best 250 Rs I ever spent in my life.
I was in desperate need of a new winter coat. One day when I was waiting to pick up the fascist from the bus station I popped into the local H&M and walked out with an inexpensive winter coat. Natch I needed to get a bag to match. Incidentally those leather gloves are actually goatskin ones that I bought at Odel about 4 years ago. They're perfect for winter driving because I can't deal with a frozen steering wheel and these take the chill right out.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Single parent family
In other news Oliver is entering day #5 of deperession. Yesterday he was leaning against the bathtub in the lightless bathroom for close to 30 minutes. No amount of coaxing could get him out. Labro came by last night to play some pool and this is the furthest he got down the stairs. The blighter is so dramatic. He just sat on the landing in this forlorn manner. Hopefully his spirits will be lifted this afternoon when we got out to shovel snow. Ugh. I can't believe that they're expecting two more snowstorms by Friday. TinyLF is going to get his plump self stuck in the snow on the way to Toronto this Friday. The goose.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Domestication
Having Abi around as my only close Sri Lankan girlfriend means that we can have a heartier laugh over some of the more ridiculous elements of our culture than I could with, say, Alby. Since we're considered to be of "marriageable" age these days we find older, more meddlesome friends of our parents seeing the need to make comments on our varying levels of "domestication." As Abi puts it, they make it sound like we're feral beasts who've only just barely managed to be paper trained or something.
Cleaning is really not my forte, not that I'll never do it, I just don't derive the same pleasure from it as Alby does. If I'm mucking around in the kitchen I'll clean up after myself, but my room? An absolute nightmare, something akin to my locker in high school. However clutter in my living spaces drive me bonkers. I'm sort of like Monica but instead of a closet I've got a bedroom. I've been meaning to purge it out for sometime now and since we had a new cleaning service coming in this afternoon I figured that now would be as good a time as any. One thing I never take into consideration is my ability to get easily distracted. I start finding things, old clothes to try on, books which get skimmed through, sweetly scribbled handwritten notes on pieces of random paper...you know, the things that'll totally make me sit down and take a closer look.
It all started innocently enough. I swear.
I was told to run down to the basement and make sure none of Oliver's toys were on the floor before the cleaning ladies came. That's when I caught sight of one of Lokku Mammah's blue Barefoot shirts in a garbage bag. Aiya had claimed that shirt a few years ago and I was surprised to see it in the give-away pile that he had put together just before he moved. So I ran upstairs and tried to figure out a way that I could wear said shirt without looking like a tool. That was really the beginning of the end. I coupled it with my favourite pin-stripped vest and one of my grandfather's ties.
I love that shade of blue.
While rummaging through my scarf/tie rack looking for Papa's tie I came across this little tie. It belongs to one of my most favourite shirts of all time, which surprise, surprise I'm now way too fat to even poke a finger into. I practically lived in that shirt when I was working in Colombo. The stripes and the white take me right back to all of that. Note the absolute squalor in the background. (And apparently, I was told, my hair looks FAKE in the above? I know right? How dare he etc.)
Guys, remember when I was totally obsessed with the Beastie Boys? Oh. Wait. That's right I still am. I bought this hat right around the time "To The Five Boroughs" came out. It was my homage to them. This was the hat I was wearing when I failed my driver's test for the 3rd time, it was around Thanksgiving too. On a side note, if it was possible to hug Paul's Boutique I think I would. Also, Adam Horowitz? I'm totally single and available (age means nothing). Call me!
One of my favourite people in the world totally misjudged me and gave me a black and beige organza sari from Singapore. I love her to bits but not enough to even attempt rocking it. The sari went to Ammi but I held on to the blouse piece which has alternatively been on my bed and also used as a scarf. It is surprisingly warm and makes me giggle at the stupendous lapse of judgement.
This penchant for scarves of all sizes is like a filthy drug. I'm going to end up a toothless junkie because of it. Last summer in Colombo the bossman and I made a quick dash to Cotton Collection to pick out a shirt for some fuddy duddy meeting he was attending the following day. This little scarf was by the cash register for 100 Rs so he grabbed it for me. On our way out to the parking lot we were promptly shoved into a random saivar kade because the road was closed off for some minister. So we sat there and drank cups of ginger tea, shot the breeze and managed to leave without cholera. If I recall correctly this was the lovely workmate's favourite colour and he ended up designing the cover page of a report to match it. Perhaps that'll be my only real legacy in Sri Lanka.
The TinyLittleFascist used to always make fun of me because I had a tendency to wear something akin to a hijab when scampering around Colombo in tuktuks. The thing is my hair was a dirt magnet and it just made more sense to keep it covered up to avoid all the nastiness that would otherwise get trapped in it. I was immensely amused when I came home last summer and found that someone who had recently visited the Middle East decided it would be a great idea to give my Christian Fundamentalist mother an Islamic head dress. Fun times indeed people! I clearly wear it as a neck scarf and not a head one.
Really? Does the significance of this beret really need to be explained? If I need to spell it out then you don't deserve to know. However I will give you this, I've had it since I was in high school.
The very first vintage sweater I ever bought at Courage My Love. I think I shelled out 10 dollars for this beauty when I was in grade 9. Surprisingly enough it still fits but only because it's snug in all the right places. Trust me though, it could've gone either way. There's potential there for it to have looked horrific.
Most of the things that meant the most to my grandfather when he died went to my uncles and Thathi, which is totally fair. Aiya of course got the best stuff out of all the grandkids. I grabbed on to precious little that I could get hold of, mostly ties and scarves that the others weren't interested in. The above is actually a cummerbund which his bestfriend Carlyle brought back to him after a trip to London sometime in the early 1950s. It's starting to get a bit chillier out these days and I'm head over heels for the pattern on the cummerbund I figured that I'd start wearing it as an ascot in the fall instead of just using it as a cinch. Apparently it works? Both are cheating I know. Shh.
Again, I totally found this while rummaging. This is one of my favourite ties, I picked it up for 25 cents at the open Saturday market along la Rue Mariste in Dakar. Clothes and other items which people from the developed world hoping would go to needy people in Africa oftentimes ended up at the market for sale instead. I bought this tie along with 3 others, they were the first items I ever price-bargained for in Senegal. The rush of being able to haggle successfully in French? If there's any French speakers out there, you know what I'm talking about.
So it's now just after 2:40 AM my room still looks like the closet threw up and I'm left with the choice of just shoving my clothes off of the bed and onto the the other pile of clothes on the floor, sleeping on top of them, or just heading to the guest room to sleep tonight.
Choices.
Cleaning is really not my forte, not that I'll never do it, I just don't derive the same pleasure from it as Alby does. If I'm mucking around in the kitchen I'll clean up after myself, but my room? An absolute nightmare, something akin to my locker in high school. However clutter in my living spaces drive me bonkers. I'm sort of like Monica but instead of a closet I've got a bedroom. I've been meaning to purge it out for sometime now and since we had a new cleaning service coming in this afternoon I figured that now would be as good a time as any. One thing I never take into consideration is my ability to get easily distracted. I start finding things, old clothes to try on, books which get skimmed through, sweetly scribbled handwritten notes on pieces of random paper...you know, the things that'll totally make me sit down and take a closer look.
It all started innocently enough. I swear.
I was told to run down to the basement and make sure none of Oliver's toys were on the floor before the cleaning ladies came. That's when I caught sight of one of Lokku Mammah's blue Barefoot shirts in a garbage bag. Aiya had claimed that shirt a few years ago and I was surprised to see it in the give-away pile that he had put together just before he moved. So I ran upstairs and tried to figure out a way that I could wear said shirt without looking like a tool. That was really the beginning of the end. I coupled it with my favourite pin-stripped vest and one of my grandfather's ties.
I love that shade of blue.
While rummaging through my scarf/tie rack looking for Papa's tie I came across this little tie. It belongs to one of my most favourite shirts of all time, which surprise, surprise I'm now way too fat to even poke a finger into. I practically lived in that shirt when I was working in Colombo. The stripes and the white take me right back to all of that. Note the absolute squalor in the background. (And apparently, I was told, my hair looks FAKE in the above? I know right? How dare he etc.)
Guys, remember when I was totally obsessed with the Beastie Boys? Oh. Wait. That's right I still am. I bought this hat right around the time "To The Five Boroughs" came out. It was my homage to them. This was the hat I was wearing when I failed my driver's test for the 3rd time, it was around Thanksgiving too. On a side note, if it was possible to hug Paul's Boutique I think I would. Also, Adam Horowitz? I'm totally single and available (age means nothing). Call me!
One of my favourite people in the world totally misjudged me and gave me a black and beige organza sari from Singapore. I love her to bits but not enough to even attempt rocking it. The sari went to Ammi but I held on to the blouse piece which has alternatively been on my bed and also used as a scarf. It is surprisingly warm and makes me giggle at the stupendous lapse of judgement.
This penchant for scarves of all sizes is like a filthy drug. I'm going to end up a toothless junkie because of it. Last summer in Colombo the bossman and I made a quick dash to Cotton Collection to pick out a shirt for some fuddy duddy meeting he was attending the following day. This little scarf was by the cash register for 100 Rs so he grabbed it for me. On our way out to the parking lot we were promptly shoved into a random saivar kade because the road was closed off for some minister. So we sat there and drank cups of ginger tea, shot the breeze and managed to leave without cholera. If I recall correctly this was the lovely workmate's favourite colour and he ended up designing the cover page of a report to match it. Perhaps that'll be my only real legacy in Sri Lanka.
The TinyLittleFascist used to always make fun of me because I had a tendency to wear something akin to a hijab when scampering around Colombo in tuktuks. The thing is my hair was a dirt magnet and it just made more sense to keep it covered up to avoid all the nastiness that would otherwise get trapped in it. I was immensely amused when I came home last summer and found that someone who had recently visited the Middle East decided it would be a great idea to give my Christian Fundamentalist mother an Islamic head dress. Fun times indeed people! I clearly wear it as a neck scarf and not a head one.
Really? Does the significance of this beret really need to be explained? If I need to spell it out then you don't deserve to know. However I will give you this, I've had it since I was in high school.
The very first vintage sweater I ever bought at Courage My Love. I think I shelled out 10 dollars for this beauty when I was in grade 9. Surprisingly enough it still fits but only because it's snug in all the right places. Trust me though, it could've gone either way. There's potential there for it to have looked horrific.
Most of the things that meant the most to my grandfather when he died went to my uncles and Thathi, which is totally fair. Aiya of course got the best stuff out of all the grandkids. I grabbed on to precious little that I could get hold of, mostly ties and scarves that the others weren't interested in. The above is actually a cummerbund which his bestfriend Carlyle brought back to him after a trip to London sometime in the early 1950s. It's starting to get a bit chillier out these days and I'm head over heels for the pattern on the cummerbund I figured that I'd start wearing it as an ascot in the fall instead of just using it as a cinch. Apparently it works? Both are cheating I know. Shh.
Again, I totally found this while rummaging. This is one of my favourite ties, I picked it up for 25 cents at the open Saturday market along la Rue Mariste in Dakar. Clothes and other items which people from the developed world hoping would go to needy people in Africa oftentimes ended up at the market for sale instead. I bought this tie along with 3 others, they were the first items I ever price-bargained for in Senegal. The rush of being able to haggle successfully in French? If there's any French speakers out there, you know what I'm talking about.
So it's now just after 2:40 AM my room still looks like the closet threw up and I'm left with the choice of just shoving my clothes off of the bed and onto the the other pile of clothes on the floor, sleeping on top of them, or just heading to the guest room to sleep tonight.
Choices.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
How could I forget?
Today is my best slag's birthday. Well, technically it's on the 30th but there's no way I'm going to be up past 11:59.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUWER. I wish I was around the greater Colombo area to be on hand to surprise you shitless like last year. It's a shame that StupidLittleFascist is off jetsetting and unable to do my bidding. Which is sad really, since he is mansage.
So here's to you, the one who introduced me to the man that eventually broke my heart into a million little pieces. Picked me up off the ground and forced me to scream Bob Marley songs in an incoherent manner at R&B. Taught me that quiet geeks can be absolutely vile when questioned about check point etiquette and brought a new meaning to the phrase "purple haze."
Two posts in one day? I KNOW. Wtf is going on right?
That is the power of louwe people.
(s_cozy)
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Shutter Speed
Jebus. I'm too lazy to blog properly (surprise). I present you the last lightening speed month and three quarters through the eyes of that snazzy new camera phone which I acquired along with a haircut at Pacific Mall.
This is what Toronto looked like when I left. I had a week and a bit of do nothingness before I took off unexpectedly to Colombo for the funeral. The original plan had been three weeks of do nothingness interspersed with leisurely getting my shit together for the Big Trip to London. I used to take Oliver for a walk every day during that spell and this is what a typical day would start off looking like. Apparently Toronto's still sort of like this? Perhaps my parents are just big exaggeraters?
Thathi and I were walking through the Katunayake Airport on our way to pick up our luggage remarking how it sort of feels nice to be back in Sri Lanka despite the utterly unfortunate circumstances. Seriously, look at that snow covered horror above. Now look at those luscious bouganvilla flowers in my grandparents' garden. It was nice to get away from one of the worst winters on record. When Ammi and Punchy made it into Colombo the heat had already started, I managed to miss that completely. However there was a few insane downpours, nothing compared to last year when that bit of the Galle Road collapsed. But still. I do recall a very unpleasant trishaw ride with Mansage from the Cinnamon Grand to Agra which involved rolled up pant legs, leaping over puddles and rubber slippers (which were worn in mutiny).
While I'm not a huge cat person this is my homeboy. Kitty, for that is his most unfortunate name, and I used to have a mutual understanding. He was less than a year old when I came to Sri Lanka last year. In exchange for play fighting in the mornings before leaving for work he would let me cuddle him for a brief spell in the evenings when I'd actually make it home at a decent hour. Although he used to make an utter fuss, I know he liked it. His throat used to vibrate, with a normal cat this would be purring, but his autism prevents him from showing affection, and that's as close as he'd get. No noise at all. The morning that my grandfather passed away he bolted and hung out on top of the water tower for nearly 5 days. He still refuses to go into my grandparents' bedroom. I don't know what he did after I left but the little beastie used to curl up in a ball and either sleep with me on my bed or on the floor beside me.
The final purchase that I made before I left Colombo was an umbrella from Arpico (pictured above). You know one of those silver coated jobbies. I figured that going to London without one would be just plain retarded. Gayan and I sped over as fast as we could to Dehiwela the night before I left. I needed to be at the Commons for a birthday fête and final goodbye. It was sad, and rushed. Tears were shed sly words exchanged and then it was time to go. The night before Mansage and I had a very fitting and hilarious goodbye that began at the Coffee Bean meandered to Clancys and then a mad rush back to the Bean. He even kept the blubbing to a minimum. It was so not enough time to see everyone I wanted to and there were so many people that I didn't even get a chance to see let alone call. I've always believed that any trip to Sri Lanka has to be at least 4 weeks long otherwise it's an utter disappointing and rushed experience.
I am hardly ever late for anything. Usually I am ridiculously early. This is a trait that Alby and I have both exhibited since time immemorial. So when I landed in London from Colombo and came back to Thorn's place at about 11:00 PM we weren't really worried about me being able to make my 6:30 AM flight that next morning. Oh how wrong we were. I was flying Easy Jet from Stantsted and in a series of events befitting Murphy I managed to get to the gate just as it was closing despite having started my journey at 3:00 AM. It was one of the most stressful things evar. Spain was great though, Barcelona's such a gorgeous city. I've got way more pictures which will eventually be posted on flickr. Seeing Gaudi's work in the flesh was phenomenal. I found myself at Sagrada Família on Easter Sunday and it was so overwhelming. The religious significance aside, as a piece of art it just left me dumbfounded.
Generally I don't like buying lame souvenirs and what inadvertently started off as an innocent scarf purchase in Dakar has now become my "thing." I buy scarves from every place I visit, managed to get the two above for 2 Euros. Which I thought was pretty awesome and of course now I'm regretting not getting more.
Getting lost in a city is the best way to discover it. This is what I say because I legendarily lack a sense of direction. On this particular day I was waiting for the ex-workmate to finish off some shiz and meet up with me for a day of shopping. So I wondered around Leicester Square and found a section that sold antique books. It was like I had died and gone to bookheaven. If the exchange rate wasn't 2 CND to a Pound I could've easily walked away with the entire store.
Went and met Aunty C at St Pancras a few weeks ago. She came and spent the day with me from Leeds and couldn't have picked a better weekend. The photo does not do justice to how kickass that clock really was. The two of us had a great time just wondering around the city. I managed to get us spectacularly lost at one point when I took the map.
A carved rock outside the British Library. They had a whole bunch of them around the entrance.
I still can't get over how "British" everything looks.
Seriously, how cute is that? Mind you it would've been way better if my unsteady hands didn't go all parkinsons on me. There actually are red phone booths in and around certain parts of the city.
Okay, so it does rain here on and off but it doesn't bother me! Is there something wrong? Am I unknowingly prepping for life in Vancouver?
Camden has become one of my favourite parts of London. I spend too much time and too much money there.
I go to church in Brixton. How bad ass am I? Witnessed my first building fire. Must say I really was not impressed with the way the firefighters and cops handled things. But that's another post altogether.
Gigs! With Thorn! It feels like home. But not really. Live music always makes me feel like I'm at home, no matter what part of the world I'm in. The London indie scene is really good obviously. Different than the Toronto one for sure. I think the calibre of musicianship is much better here but the creativity is lacking. But that's just me. Also? British indie boys? zomg. ftw!
Some of the little sculptures and pieces of art that are found in and around London are just strange. This is very close to one of the first places I worked here. I mean look at it! It's looks like a giant hot dog ffs. Click on the photo to make it larger and see if you don't believe me.
I wish I had more money. Or conversely, I wish I was making some money. Did a bit of shopping today. Picked up some sweet Clarks for Aiya and decided to get a pair of shoes for myself as well. The dude at Footlocker was absolutely incredulous when I told him that my feet were a size 6 US. This is normally the case since I think I defy some sort of science laws. There is no way that someone of my size should be able to be held up by feet that are so tiny they look like they've been bound.
Plenty more things that need to be seen and explored. Of course I'll take 'actual' pictures with the Nikon eventually, I'm really digging the little Sony though. I usually don't die for electronic items, but I'm a fan of the camera. It's so convenient.
Generally I don't like buying lame souvenirs and what inadvertently started off as an innocent scarf purchase in Dakar has now become my "thing." I buy scarves from every place I visit, managed to get the two above for 2 Euros. Which I thought was pretty awesome and of course now I'm regretting not getting more.
Plenty more things that need to be seen and explored. Of course I'll take 'actual' pictures with the Nikon eventually, I'm really digging the little Sony though. I usually don't die for electronic items, but I'm a fan of the camera. It's so convenient.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Quips: The "I'm still in mourning" edition
Death
Upon discovering that he has been requested to write something to be read at our grandfather's funeral.
Aiya: I want it to be funny.
Me: I'm the one who has to read it. You know I have absolutely no comedic timing.
Aiya: No, for real, it's going to be uproarious. You'll see.
Me: Okay, how do you propose to do this?
Aiya: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Aiya: Not Pappa.
Me: *groan* Duuude. Do you actually expect me to say "'Not Pappa,' who??"
A post-mortem on Thathi's eulogy where he conveniently swapped "Amma" and "Thatha" (the terminology he's used all his life) for "mom" and "dad"
Me: Thathi, seriously? What the hell? Mom and Dad? Even though Aiya and I are so white we never freaking called you and Ammi that.
Cousin #1: Yes bappi. What was up with that? Were you trying to prove how Canadian you are now?
Boisterous Aunt: No men. The sun was coming onto his face, I'm sure he was just disoriented and couldn't concentrate.
Grandmother: It was a lovely eulogy. But you know even through the tears I couldn't help but wonder why at that point in time you decided to start calling us "Mom" and "Dad"
Thathi: Well. At least people could understand what I was saying.
Me: Hey! I can't help that I have an accent that no one in this country seems to understand.
At the Achcars. Cheez unleashed an unsuspecting, innocent fellow who was visiting from India into our midst.
Sahib: So I heard you're down for your grandfather's funeral?
Me: Yeah, it was on Wednesday actually. We went through all of his stuff today. I flicked one of his cigarette lighters, look it matches my cigarette case.
Psylog: Ooo let's see the case! *proceeds to rifle through the contents of my case in an unseemly manner.*
Me: And look, this is his...*begins to point at the snazzy tie that brings together numerous parts of my ensemble*
Psylog: *looks up from rifling* Seriously, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE TIE. NO ONE CARES.
Me: *sputtering* but...but...I'm still in mourning!
Sahib: *Looks on in utter horror*
Inn on the Green post-dinner with the family and pre-quiz
Smackity: RASTI!!!!!!
Mansage: Yeah. He's already had a few to drink. Just sit down and ignore him.
Me: Kermz, shove over!
Kermz: Where are you coming from?
Me: Oh, I had dinner with the family.
Kermz: *Gives me the once over*
Me: What?
Kermz: Oh. No. Nothing.
Smackity: Rasti you do realise that some of your err, assets are on display. *giggling*
Me: But. But. I'm wearing grey, navy blue and white!
Kermz: Right. Because you're still in mourning no?
Clawed.
It was really nice to be able to unexpectedly meet up with Aunty and the Fascist especially since the grand reunion was not supposed to be until sometime in May when the two of them would be headed to Europe.
At Global Towers. A favourite haunt of ours in the old days.
Mansage: Call up Aunty, she said she may be able to join us after work.
Me: *Dials* AUNTY! I hear you may be able to join us for a bit of a claw session this evening?
Aunty: Indeed little one, it'll be nice to hang out like the old days. *said with uncharacteristic affection* Where are you two?
Me: Global Towers!
Aunty: What the hell? You guys are such bloody losers.
Aunty: Seriously. What' wrong with you?
Me: Why?
Aunty: You've been keeping the wrong company in Canada. Pretty soon I'm going to have to disown you.
Me: Eh? Disown?! Aunty! No!
Mansage: *looks on with bemusement*
Aunty: You have lost your claws.
Me: Surely you jest?
Aunty: We have sat here for 20 minutes and you still haven't made one ageist remark against me.
Me: I'm still in mourning?
Dinner at Agra. A favourite picnic spot. Aunty kept us waiting for an hour.
Mansage: Call Aunty!
Me: No, I called her already, you call aunty.
Mansage: Call Aunty and tell her that I'm so desperate I'm ready to hump this sausage. *points at the phallic looking pillow*
Me: Yeah. No, I'm not telling her that.
Mansage: I'm hungry.
Me: Yeah. I am too.
Mansage: *points at pillow beside me* Open up that sausage, run your hand up it and turn it on.
Both: *Dying of laughter.*
Me: That doesn't even make any SENSE.
Mansage: That should make it on the internets. I'm hungry.
Me: Yeah. I am too.
Aunty: Okay, what shall we have?
Mansage: *natters off the list of things we've pre-thunk up*
Aunty: Okay. Fine.
Me: But wait. Mansage you wanted the lamb no?
Mansage: Yeah, but Aunty doesn't eat that, so we'll go with the chicken instead.
Me: Sin men, just because she's mutton* doesn't mean that we need to have a meal with no lamb.
Aunty: That was weak. But considering you're still easing yourself into things. I'll give it to you.
*The Colombian Dictator, upon seeing old women in age inappropriate attire, would often remark that said specimens looked like "mutton dressed as lamb."
Me: Okay, we've set out an agenda of things to discuss...
Aunty: An agenda? What? Why?
Me: We had too! You're only gracing us with your presence for a short while and there's much to go over.
Aunty: Okay. Fine. What's the first thing?
Me: The ex.
Aunty: What. NO. WAIT. We're not discussing that. *Look of utter horror.* In a few words? Vacous, vapid, immature, silly...
Me: HA. I thought we're not discussing that?
Aunty: Yes, but this is why you hang out with me.
Me: You know Mansage was getting pretty desperate while waiting for you to show up.
Aunty: Oh in what way?
Me: I'm almost too frightened to say. You know how sometimes if you don't say things out loud it's almost like they never happened?
Aunty: Yes and when you do speak out it just solidifies it?
Me: Yeah. Somethings are just better left unsaid.
Mansage: I have to choo.
Aunty: So then go.
Mansage: *drops a pillow on the ground*
Me: Dude, you dropped a pillow.
Aunty: Typical man. Violates and then just casts aside when it's served his purpose.
"zomg. It's just like irc up in here"
- psylog
The dangers of hanging out with the same people you waste copious of amounts of time on the internets with. You have been warned.
him: ...and then i saw him, head bowed utterly raw and honest. Fully aware of the fact that no one gives a fuck about him. Man. I can never blog about the good things damn it. But seriously psylog...the pussy this guy gets is unbelievable. I mean we're talking about the kind of girls I stalk on facebook. THAT'S HOW GOOD.
Discussing the nitty gritty details of music selection on the jukebox.
me: WTF! Is this? Tina Turner?
loverlord: Okay. You know what. We should seriously have a new rule about the amount of times a diva can be played.
migrainecat: Yeah seriously. I think this is the second time we're hearing this song.
TinaTurner's#1Fan: Noez! You don't understand. This song. THIS SONG. It used to be my theme song *starts singing "You're Simply the Best"*
me: I can't believe I'm hearing this, nay witnessing you do this.in.public.
TT#1F: This is nothing. I used to sing this into a hairbrush and jump on my bed singing along. This and Richard Marx, my dirty little secrets.
migrainecat: Yeah. Not so secret anymore eh?
TT#1F: Aw shit.
Upon discovering that he has been requested to write something to be read at our grandfather's funeral.
Aiya: I want it to be funny.
Me: I'm the one who has to read it. You know I have absolutely no comedic timing.
Aiya: No, for real, it's going to be uproarious. You'll see.
Me: Okay, how do you propose to do this?
Aiya: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Aiya: Not Pappa.
Me: *groan* Duuude. Do you actually expect me to say "'Not Pappa,' who??"
A post-mortem on Thathi's eulogy where he conveniently swapped "Amma" and "Thatha" (the terminology he's used all his life) for "mom" and "dad"
Me: Thathi, seriously? What the hell? Mom and Dad? Even though Aiya and I are so white we never freaking called you and Ammi that.
Cousin #1: Yes bappi. What was up with that? Were you trying to prove how Canadian you are now?
Boisterous Aunt: No men. The sun was coming onto his face, I'm sure he was just disoriented and couldn't concentrate.
Grandmother: It was a lovely eulogy. But you know even through the tears I couldn't help but wonder why at that point in time you decided to start calling us "Mom" and "Dad"
Thathi: Well. At least people could understand what I was saying.
Me: Hey! I can't help that I have an accent that no one in this country seems to understand.
At the Achcars. Cheez unleashed an unsuspecting, innocent fellow who was visiting from India into our midst.
Sahib: So I heard you're down for your grandfather's funeral?
Me: Yeah, it was on Wednesday actually. We went through all of his stuff today. I flicked one of his cigarette lighters, look it matches my cigarette case.
Psylog: Ooo let's see the case! *proceeds to rifle through the contents of my case in an unseemly manner.*
Me: And look, this is his...*begins to point at the snazzy tie that brings together numerous parts of my ensemble*
Psylog: *looks up from rifling* Seriously, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE TIE. NO ONE CARES.
Me: *sputtering* but...but...I'm still in mourning!
Sahib: *Looks on in utter horror*
Inn on the Green post-dinner with the family and pre-quiz
Smackity: RASTI!!!!!!
Mansage: Yeah. He's already had a few to drink. Just sit down and ignore him.
Me: Kermz, shove over!
Kermz: Where are you coming from?
Me: Oh, I had dinner with the family.
Kermz: *Gives me the once over*
Me: What?
Kermz: Oh. No. Nothing.
Smackity: Rasti you do realise that some of your err, assets are on display. *giggling*
Me: But. But. I'm wearing grey, navy blue and white!
Kermz: Right. Because you're still in mourning no?
Clawed.
It was really nice to be able to unexpectedly meet up with Aunty and the Fascist especially since the grand reunion was not supposed to be until sometime in May when the two of them would be headed to Europe.
At Global Towers. A favourite haunt of ours in the old days.
Mansage: Call up Aunty, she said she may be able to join us after work.
Me: *Dials* AUNTY! I hear you may be able to join us for a bit of a claw session this evening?
Aunty: Indeed little one, it'll be nice to hang out like the old days. *said with uncharacteristic affection* Where are you two?
Me: Global Towers!
Aunty: What the hell? You guys are such bloody losers.
Aunty: Seriously. What' wrong with you?
Me: Why?
Aunty: You've been keeping the wrong company in Canada. Pretty soon I'm going to have to disown you.
Me: Eh? Disown?! Aunty! No!
Mansage: *looks on with bemusement*
Aunty: You have lost your claws.
Me: Surely you jest?
Aunty: We have sat here for 20 minutes and you still haven't made one ageist remark against me.
Me: I'm still in mourning?
Dinner at Agra. A favourite picnic spot. Aunty kept us waiting for an hour.
Mansage: Call Aunty!
Me: No, I called her already, you call aunty.
Mansage: Call Aunty and tell her that I'm so desperate I'm ready to hump this sausage. *points at the phallic looking pillow*
Me: Yeah. No, I'm not telling her that.
Mansage: I'm hungry.
Me: Yeah. I am too.
Mansage: *points at pillow beside me* Open up that sausage, run your hand up it and turn it on.
Both: *Dying of laughter.*
Me: That doesn't even make any SENSE.
Mansage: That should make it on the internets. I'm hungry.
Me: Yeah. I am too.
Aunty: Okay, what shall we have?
Mansage: *natters off the list of things we've pre-thunk up*
Aunty: Okay. Fine.
Me: But wait. Mansage you wanted the lamb no?
Mansage: Yeah, but Aunty doesn't eat that, so we'll go with the chicken instead.
Me: Sin men, just because she's mutton* doesn't mean that we need to have a meal with no lamb.
Aunty: That was weak. But considering you're still easing yourself into things. I'll give it to you.
*The Colombian Dictator, upon seeing old women in age inappropriate attire, would often remark that said specimens looked like "mutton dressed as lamb."
Me: Okay, we've set out an agenda of things to discuss...
Aunty: An agenda? What? Why?
Me: We had too! You're only gracing us with your presence for a short while and there's much to go over.
Aunty: Okay. Fine. What's the first thing?
Me: The ex.
Aunty: What. NO. WAIT. We're not discussing that. *Look of utter horror.* In a few words? Vacous, vapid, immature, silly...
Me: HA. I thought we're not discussing that?
Aunty: Yes, but this is why you hang out with me.
Me: You know Mansage was getting pretty desperate while waiting for you to show up.
Aunty: Oh in what way?
Me: I'm almost too frightened to say. You know how sometimes if you don't say things out loud it's almost like they never happened?
Aunty: Yes and when you do speak out it just solidifies it?
Me: Yeah. Somethings are just better left unsaid.
Mansage: I have to choo.
Aunty: So then go.
Mansage: *drops a pillow on the ground*
Me: Dude, you dropped a pillow.
Aunty: Typical man. Violates and then just casts aside when it's served his purpose.
"zomg. It's just like irc up in here"
- psylog
The dangers of hanging out with the same people you waste copious of amounts of time on the internets with. You have been warned.
him: ...and then i saw him, head bowed utterly raw and honest. Fully aware of the fact that no one gives a fuck about him. Man. I can never blog about the good things damn it. But seriously psylog...the pussy this guy gets is unbelievable. I mean we're talking about the kind of girls I stalk on facebook. THAT'S HOW GOOD.
Discussing the nitty gritty details of music selection on the jukebox.
me: WTF! Is this? Tina Turner?
loverlord: Okay. You know what. We should seriously have a new rule about the amount of times a diva can be played.
migrainecat: Yeah seriously. I think this is the second time we're hearing this song.
TinaTurner's#1Fan: Noez! You don't understand. This song. THIS SONG. It used to be my theme song *starts singing "You're Simply the Best"*
me: I can't believe I'm hearing this, nay witnessing you do this.in.public.
TT#1F: This is nothing. I used to sing this into a hairbrush and jump on my bed singing along. This and Richard Marx, my dirty little secrets.
migrainecat: Yeah. Not so secret anymore eh?
TT#1F: Aw shit.
Monday, December 17, 2007
On the Fifth Day: Brrr.
We got pummeled with snow yesterday. When I wasn't breaking my back trying to clear off the driveway I was ensconced inside generally cursing my fate and mucking about with my camera. So for the fifth day of Christmas I find myself in a state of delusion. There are certain things that I am in desperate need of. For starters a warm place where tiki decor would be considered appropriate.
I found myself snapping pictures in my wood paneled basement and thinking of the motherland. Not in any nostalgic manner really. More of a "damn it's hot there and there isn't a snowflake in sight" kind of way. All I need is 1. Bowl of deviled cadju nuts 2. A Lion Lager for our man the fascist 3. An arrack and Coke for the Colombian 4. A yet to be determined drink for me and 5. Ice along with some warm weather. Hmm. I suppose the fifth day of Christmas then would be spent at Global Towers minus the A/C.
Here's a taste of the insanity that we had to deal with.
Now don't you wish that you were someplace warm where tiki decorations would be appropriate?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Indecision 2008: London Calling.
Oh come on. You knew that title was coming.
A note on the photo. I bought Cedric a couple of weeks back when I was shopping with Elisa. We were getting Alby's Christmas shiz to send over to Korea when she with her eagle eyes spotted Cedric on a little rotating stand thing at Indigo. Being the impulsive shopper that I am and also well aware of the fact that omg it was a knome, I pounced on the little blighter and purchased. At that point I still didn't have an effing clue where I would be heading come 2008 but I knew that wherever it was I'd definitely find a use to gratuitously take photographs of a ceramic knome. God knows that Oliver will be sincerely missed.
Thought it would only be fitting to trot Cedric out after I had made the final decision in indecision 2008. For some of you this is old news but there are a couple out there who haven't heard the full story of how I decided that London would be the next place my suitcases would be dropped.
I was to meet one of Ammi's business associates bright and early on an effing cold Wednesday morning. Suffice it to say I was shitting myself. Most people in Ammi's line of work are arrogant bastards who have ulterior motives and hidden agendas which are barely concealed. In the back of my mind I had a nagging feeling that the only reason why the President of a well established Toronto media monopoly would condescend to meet me is because he wanted to curry favour with Ammi. Incidentally he was also my contact in South Africa and had assured me (through ammi of course) that anything I wanted to do in Capetown could be pre-arranged through him. All I had to do was name the field and he would take care of the rest. (He was born and brought up in Capetown, all his family is still out there. Saying that he was/is well connected would be stating the bleeding obvious.)
9:30 was supposed to be our meeting time, of course I was freaking the shit out and took a cab from St.Andrew station instead of hopping the street car. I thought I'd be horrendously late. Way to get their 10 minutes early due to panic. As I sat their stewing in my own sense of impending doom I thought that perhaps sending a whiny text message to the fascist may calm me down. This did not work as he responded that he was boozing with the Colombian. I would've much rather been with them at that point than sitting in that stiff backed chair in uncomfortable shoes, perspiring way more than is normal for November.
The Seth Afrikaan finally made his appearance and I was able to get my shit together pretty fast. (Aside: that little talent of mine? Remember? Of the first impressions always being spot on? SPOT ON.) Within the first five minutes I knew I was seated across one of the very few people within the industry who had an honest and deep rooted sense of sincerity. Turns out he too started off as a bleeding heart but got equally jaded and cynical as I. Did his master's thesis on the distribution of wealth and the IMF in South Africa. According to him, we're kindreds.
Have you ever gotten that feeling, while you're having a conversation, while in the throes of it that this conversation? The one you're having at this precise moment is going to go down as being one of the most pivotal and influential ones in your life? Almost like the director's cut commentary on a DVD. You're aware of what's being said and done in the present but at the same time you've retreated so far back into your own head trying to process the magnitude of what's happening.
That's how I felt. It went beyond a chat about what career opportunities I would find in South Africa, and shifted gears completely. The man I met to pave the way for me to go to South Africa eventually convinced me that there's no better place for me than London.
In one hour I gained more clarity and perspective on my future than I would have hoped to gain in 9 months mucking about on my own.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Indecision 2008: Has nothing to do with US politics. (But Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are more than welcome to create a television special)
Oh Kittens, it's that time of year again isn't it? You know? When I start endlessly bitching and complaining about how much my life sucks? But with a different amount of vigour than I normally do? Then I start looking for ludicrous things to do in order to lift me out of my rut? Well last year it was teaching French (incidentally I do need another haircut), the year before that started slightly earlier and was dealt with through massive amounts of angst
I'd like to think that this year is a bit different, to the extent that the angst is coupled with a few new ludicrous and potentially unfeasible plans which will stretch the extent of 4-5 blog posts. Of which this will most likely be the only one. I'm bad with series. Remember? I'd also like to think that unlike the people of America the issues that surround my Indecision 2008 will be much more thought out and mulled over than what makes up their Indecision 2008.
The people of America are soon to be choosing a leader, and me? Well I'm at a crossroads kittens one that sees my feet planted on firmly on three different continents and has my big toe dipping into another. You see I am suddenly faced with a plethora of options and work possibilities. Come February 2008 I could either be in London, England; Capetown, South Africa; Toronto, or even potentially back in Colombo.
The courses are all finished up the first week of December and I'm a free agent. The work contract will be all neatly tied up leaving me with a small pile of cash that could fund a life and a trip some place other than here. Do I want to take advantage of the 2 year visa I'd have no sweat getting to London? Or does the excitement and novelty of Africa beckon again? Maybe I'll even stay in Toronto, shack up with Alby and the fascist, grow up and actually start behaving like an adult and not a nomad? Or there's the option of taking the safe easy way out and going back to Colombo? That still seems depressing though.
As it has been pointed out to me so sweetly in the past, I am childish, immature, indecisive and for good measure, I talk a lot. This is why I'm appealing to you dear 4 loyal readers, perhaps you can help me make my decision?
In other news, it's US Thanksgiving weekend and the ACWHAAFV is coming! Yay. I'm excited, we had a blast last year.
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